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LESKOAUTISMIssue3J2014AU10aspergersnetworkmagazineForPeopleontheSpectrumbyPeopleontheSpectrumAnitaAspergersontheJOBAlsoinside...StarryStarryLifeAutismAllStarsAskProfessorTonyWethinkyourchildhasASDSpeakingthedifferenceTransitiontouniversityBARBCOOKIwasdiagnosedwithAUTISMat40JEANETTEPURKISWhatsLOVEgottodowithitDENAGASSNERBakingtheLITERACYCake AUTISIMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE1WelltheNewYeariswellandtrulystartedandboydowehaveanotherinormationpackedmagazineoryouinstoreKickingothisissuewehavethehighlyingAnitaLeskooutlininghowmanyousonthespectrumcangetintotheworkorceandexplainstheskillsweneedtogetthatjob.EquippedwiththerighttoolstheskysthelimitatgainingsatisyingemploymentopportunitiesortheloyalanddedicatedaspieAnitasstorydoesntendherewithanewbookBeenThere.DoneThat.TryThisTheAspiesguidetolieonearthbeingreleasedbyJessicaKingsleyPublishersthiscomingFebruaryandisco-editedwithProessorTonyAttwoodandCraigEvans.TonygivesusatasteowhatisinstoreinthisincrediblementorshipbookwithinthisissuebyFakingItAspieshavemasteredtheartoakingittillyoumakeitandTonyexplainswhy.PerectingtheartomanyacesandittingintowhatisexpectedinsocietyJeanettePurkisasksWhatsLovegottodowithitandJenElchesonquestionswhattypeoriendswomenonthespectrumlookor.Beingemaleandonthespectrumandthepressuresoittingintotheexpectedconditioningosocietytheseladiesshowushowtobewhoweareandembraceourdierentwayoconnecting.FromthemanyacetsothespectrumliewithitsmanyshadesodierenceIwillleaveyounowtoimmerseyourselinthewordsothemanywritersaheadwiththeirexperiencessupportandadvicetousallBarbCookBarbandherpartnerPauleachhaveover20yearsexperienceinthegraphicdesignandpublishingfeld.BringingtogethertheirvastexperienceindesignplustheirpersonalknowledgeolivingwithAspergersSyndrometheybuiltasoundoundationonwhichtheycanbringtotheorethecomplexbutrewardinginsightsothoseconnectedtotheAutismSpectrum.Wewanttomakeadifferencetothoseonthespectrumbysharingourexperiencesandsupportingeachotherbyprovidingaresourcethatweallcanbeapartof.Ifjustonestorycanmakethoseahhamomentshappenthenitmakesitsoworthwhileinhelpinganotherindividualorfamily.Ourveryownliveshavebeenaconstantstruggletofitinwhilsttryingtounderstandthisveryconfusingworld.ButnowwefeelthatwecanalsobepartofthechangeforthebettertothoseontheAutismSpectrum.AewwordsromtheProducedbyPeopleontheSpectrumforPeopleontheSpectrumeditor...GetyourDigitalcopyoftheAutismAspergersNetworkMagazineTODAYwww.aanmag.com.au 2AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEPROFESSIONALADVICE28fAKINGITExtractbyProessorTonyAttwoodromhisnewbook34WEThINKyOURchIldhASASdPsychologistAllisonHaynestakessthroghthegrieprocess46bAKINGThElITERAcycAKEIttakesmorethanoneingredientbyDenaGassnerinside3749FEATuRES6ASPERGERSONThEjObbyAnitaLesko14IWASdIAGNOSEdWIThAUTISMAT40TheextendedstoryoBarbCooksdiagnosis37hUGGINGThEhEdGEhOGPositivecreativethinkingorraisingachildontheAtimSpectrmbyJodiMrphey63ThEMOThERlOdEKrtMzikargetsanexplosivesrprise44SPEAKINGThEdIffERENcETranslatiionbyRebeccaHyderPuiseAspiedesignsABN25825425432Einoaspiedesigns.com.aEitorAvertisingEnquiriesBarbaraCookeditoraanmag.com.aSu-EitorPalKayadminaanmag.com.aGrapidesignBarbaraCookPalKayadminaanmag.com.aProo-reaersJeanettePrkisSarahHansordStokPotos123r.comSusriptionswww.aanmag.com.aAtismAspergersNetworkMagazineISSN2202-7769Thepblisherathorsandcontribtorsreservetheirrightsinregardstocopyrightotheirwork.Nopartothisworkcoveredbythecopyrightmaybereprodcedorcopiedinanyormorbyanymeanswithotthewrittenconsentothepblisher.Nopersonorganisationorpartysholdrelyoronanywayactponanypartothecontentsothispblicationwhetherthatinormationissorcedromthewebsitemagazineorrelatedprodctwithotfrstobtainingtheadviceoallyqalifedperson.ThismagazineanditsrelatedwebsiteandprodctsaresoldanddistribtedonthetermsandconditionthatThepblishercontribtorseditorsandrelatedpartiesarenotresponsibleinanywayortheactionsorresltstakenanypersonorganisationoranypartyonbasisoreadinginormationstoriesorcontribtionsinthispblicationwebsiteorrelatedprodct.Thepblishercontribtorsandrelatedpartiesarenotengagedinprovidinglegalfnancialorproessionaladviceorservices.Thepblishercontribtorseditorsandconsltantsdisclaimanyandallliabilityandresponsibilitytoanypersonorpartybetheyaprchaserreaderadvertiserorconsmerothispblicationornotinregardstotheconseqencesandotcomesoanythingdoneoromittedbeinginreliancewhetherpartlyorsolelyonthecontentsothispblicationandrelatedwebsiteandprodcts.Thepblishereditorscontribtorsandrelatedpartiesshallhavenoresponsibilityoranyactionoromissionbyanyothercontribtorconsltanteditororrelatedparty.Copyright2013AtismAspergersNetworkMagazine54634 AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE3PARENTING52hAPPybIRThdAyNIcKyLindaWeymssdiscoversnotallinterestsareobsessions54hOMESchOOlSUPPORTSGROUPSHeatherHainesexplainstheonlinespportworldREGuLARS5ASKPROfESSORTONyATTWOOdTonygivesprofessionaladvice26STARRySTARRylIfEJenniferCookOToole-AsperkidsLanchpad30WhyfATISyOURfRIENdKrisBarrettasksareyogettingenogh32hOWWhyANdWhATfORParentinvolvementinABAIBIbyPeggyhailstone58PlANNINGfORhOlIdAySUSINGcAlENdARAPPSBronwynSttonreviewsthreepoplarapps60TRANSITIONTOUNIvERSITyBradBeadelnavigatestheway67bOOKREvIEWSResorcesatHandgoodreads68AUTISMAllGROWNUPPalKayandBarbCookspcomingdocmentaryTHEARTS9hENNyKUPERSTEINAtismsMsicalGift49ThROUGhThEdARKENESSWEShINEAtismAllStarsuK-HelenWallace-Iles62SAcREdGEOMETRyANdMANdAlASDebraHosseinirevealsartistStevenCoventrytalentsSOCIALWELLBEING17fRIENdShIPSANdfEMAlESONThESPEcTRUMJenElchesontakeonfemalefriendships.22WhATSlOvEGOTTOdOWIThITJeanettePrkisexplainsattachmentclosenesslove24SElfAccEPTANcEKerrilynnHarrisexplains24142617 ProfessorTonyAttwoodTonyiswellknownorsharinghisknowledgeoAspergersSyndrome.HehasanHonoursdegreeinPsychologyromtheUniversityoHullMastersdegreeinClinicalPsychologyromtheUniversityoSurreyandaPhDromtheUniversityoLondon.HeiscurrentlyadjunctAssociateProessoratGrithUniversityQLD.TonyhaswrittenseveralpublicationsonAspergersSyndrome.HisbooktitledTheCompleteGuidetoAspergersSyndromehasnowbeentranslatedintoseverallanguages.Healsospendsalargeamountotimetravellingnationallyandinternationallytopresentworkshopsandpapers.KrisBarrettKrisisaCertiedNutritionHealthCoachCertiedGAPSPractitionerandmumotwo.Sheimplementeddietaryandbiomedicalinterventionwithherautisticsonbackin2004whenhewasdiagnosedatage3.Heisnowullymainstreamedandahappyandhealthy11yearold.Krisspassionisworkingwithamiliestohelpthemmakethedietaryandliestylechangeswhichwerethebackboneohersonsrecovery.JenniferCookOTooleJennierisabubblyandspiritedauthor-exactlytheoppositeowhatmanypeoplethinkowhentheyhearthewordAspergersbutherexpertiseandthestrongpersonalendorsementsogreatslikeDrs.TempleGrandinandLianeHollidayWilleyprovesshestherealdeal.ItsJenniersuniquehaveacupocofeewithmeconversationalistpresentationouseulinsightswhichhastouchedheartslightenedspiritsandevenledtotheoundingoAsperkidsLLCamulti-mediasocialeducationcompany.DenaGassnerDenaisaprivatepracticesocialworkerwriterandmotivationalspeakerwhospecialisesintransition-ageyouthandadultlatediagnosisautismrelatedissues.Sheisalsoveryskilledinaddressingissuesrelatedtowomen.Denablogsatdenagassner.com.Along-timeadvisoryboardmemberorASAandGRASPDenaisamuchindemandspeakerandpolicyadvisoryonautismachievement.Denastrivestosupportothersinherjourneybynotoutgrowingautismbutgrowingintoit.JeanettePurkisJeanetteistheauthoroFindingaDiferentKindoNormal-anautobiography.ShealsocontributedachaptertoAutismAll-StarseditedbyJosieSantomauroandeaturedinthedocumentaryAloneinaCrowdedRoomwhichairedonABCtelevisionin2010andalsoeaturesautieauthorWendyLawson.JeanettehasaMastersdegreeinneartsandworksull-timeortheAustralianPublicService.DebraHosseiniDebraHosseinitheauthoroArtismTheArtoAutismisamomothreechildren.HeryoungestchildKeviniseaturedinthisbook.AterKevinwasdiagnosedwithautismatageourDebraletherull-timecareerasacomputeranalysttobecomeastayathomemomandhasdedicatedhertimetocreatingabetterworldorchildrenandindividualswithdisabilities.DebrawasaoundingboardmemberwithseveralorganizationsthatserveindividualswithautismanddevelopmentaldisabilitiesinSantaBarbaraandCarpinteriaCaliornia.Shenowwritesandcuratesartexhibitsorpeoplewithautismanddevelopmentaldisabilities.HeatherHainesHeatherisaprimaryearlychildhoodandSPELDtrainedteacherwholetthesystemtohomeschoolhertwochildren.HeatherseldestwhoisseventeenisdiagnosedwithADHDAspergersGitedandDysgraphia.HeathersbeautiulsonisinhissecondyearouniversitystudyingSotwareEngineeringandheryoungestwhois6livesathomewithHeatherandherhusbandandhavelotsounlearningtogether.HerchildrenareherworldandcontinuetoteachHeathersomuch.JenElchesonJenisawomanwithAspergersSyndromeromWesternCanada.Jenlivesinasmallisolatednortherncitywithhercattwosnakesandisverymuchareclusewhennotworking.WritingisherpassionasthewrittenwordisoneothebestwaysJeneelsshecanexpressherselthrough.JenwritesinormativearticlesromtheperspectiveoawomanontheAutismSpectrum.SomeothetopicsJenwillbediscussingareonissuesemalesacerombeingonthespectrumgenderroleissuesrelationshipsriendshipssocialsituationsPeggyHailstonePeggyHailstoneisaMelbournebasedproessionalwriterwhohaswrittenoranumberothirdsectornotorprotmagazines.PeggyisalsotheCommunicationsOceroABIAAutismBehaviouralInterventionAssociationdedicatedtoraisingawarenessaboutAppliedBehaviourAnalysis.LindaWeymssLindaisanAspiediagnosedinadulthoodaterspendingmanyyearsinandoutothementalhealthsystem.HavingwonthegeneticlotteryoalsoinheritingEhlersDanlosSyndromeageneticconnectivetissuedisorderandinLindascasebringsalongwithitnearly20othermedicaldiagnosesshehasauniqueperspectiveonliewithavarietyodisabilities.Lindaisawriterbloggerandvolunteerandlovestakingphotosoherchildrenandthenscrapbookingthem.LivinginruralQueenslandwithherhusbandboysandtwocatsshehasnowearnedthenot-so-originalnicknameWheelsaterreceivingherrstwheelchair.Lindaisalsoapoliticalactivistparticularlyintheareasodisabilityanddiferenceandshendsthathavingawickedsenseohumouristhebestmedicineoranything.BradBeadelBradwasborninNewZealandandmovedtoAustraliainthelate1980s.BradlivesontheTweedCoastandstudiesBacheloroHistoricalInquiry.Bradisinhis10thyearvolunteeringwithmarinerescueNSWasboatcrewandradiooperator.BradworksorColesasasalesassistantandhisinterestsaretravelreadingtracingmyamilytreeandwanderingcemeteries.AllisonHaynesAllisonisapsychologistthatspecialisesinASDandchildren.SheisalsoamotherotwoteenageboysbothwithASDandADHD.HerpassionishelpingparentsandchildrenalikeinndingthebeststrategiestodealwiththechallengesthathavingadiagnosisoASDcanbring.4AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEcontributors AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE5FromJackieMcCully...IattendedyourseminaratPortMacquarieearlierthisyearwhichwasantastic.AteryoumentionedthatAspergersisgeneticandhavingtwosonsomyownthatareaspiesIhavejustdoneanonlinetestandscored35.Apparentlyaspergerscanalsobeintheparentwhichisnotreallyasurprise.DoIneedtobeormallydiagnosedat42orjustkeeplivingthewayIhavebeenWouldtherebeanybenetinseekingadiagnosis.Thankyou.Tonysays....Youraiseaveryinterestingquestioninregardtowhetheritisvaluabletohaveaormaldiagnosticassessmentattheageoorty-two.UsuallyadiagnosisisconductedtoenablethepersontohaveaccesstoGovernmentservicessuchasCentrelinkandsupporttondandmaintainappropriateemploymentorasvaluableinormationinrelationtoapsychologicalorpsychiatricconditionsuchasdepressionorananxietydisorder.SometimesthediagnosismaybevaluableinhelpinginareassuchasrelationshipsandrelationshipcounsellingbutIthinkthemostvaluablecomponentoadiagnosticassessmentinthemorematureyearsisintermsosel-understandingandalsobeingabletoresolveissuesothepast.Thusyoumaynotneedtobeormallydiagnosedbutthismayhelpintermsosel-understandingbutalsohavingtheabilityandinormationtoexplainyourseltootherpeople.IhavegenerallyoundthatwhenanadultachievesthediagnosisoAspergerssyndrometherecanbeagreatsenseorelieandsel-understanding.FromJuneKillington...IMynameisJuneandImnearly56andhavejustbeendiagnosedwithAspergersSyndromeandADHDateralietimeosadnessrejectionandloneliness.IseeherethatthereareplaceswheregaypeoplecangotoretireandImjustwonderingwhetheryoucouldpioneeraplaceorusoldAspiesthatcantbearnoiseandsocialinteractionAretirementvillagethatIneednowtojustsitquietlyaroundothersthatkeeptothemselves.IcouldnevergointoaHousingCommissionplacearoundbabieschildrenandteensetcsoIhaventevenapplied.Icurrentlypay200aweekoratinyoldplacebutwhentherentgoesupIullyexpectIwillendupinsomeonesgarage.Isthereanyhelpoutthereorsomeonelikemewhoslippedthroughthenetandborninatimewhennobodyknewwhatwaswrongwithpeoplelikeme.Iliveonadisabilitypensionandliecanbesadandgrueling.IthinkyouaredoingamazingworkandIthankyouorbeingyou.Tonysays....JuneyouraiseaveryinterestingideaintermsoaretirementvillagethatisAsperger-riendly.IthinkthisisanexcellentideaandIcertainlywouldendorseyoursuggestion.IalsowonderitherecouldbeAsperger-riendlyservicesinotherareastooinparticulardrugrehabilitationservicesthatareAsperger-riendlyandschoolsthatarespeciicallyandexclusivelyorthosewithAspergerssyndrome.IwonderiitwouldbepossibletoseeianyotherreadersothismagazineacethesamechallengesandcouldcombinetoadvocateoranAsperger-riendlyretirementvillage.FromSarahHansford...WillthereeverbediagnosticcriteriaspecicallyoremalesonthespectrumTonysays....IdothinkthatthereeventuallywillbealterationstothediagnosticcriteriaorgirlsandwomenwithAspergerssyndrome.OurcurrentresearchsuggeststhattheproleorcharacteristicsoAspergerssyndromearethesameinmalesandemalesbuttheprimarydierenceisintermsohowthepersonreactstoandadjuststothedierencesandcharacteristicsoAspergerssyndrome.Girlscanbemuchbetterthantheboysincamoufagingtheirsocialconusionandusingobservationandimitationtoacquiresocialskills.Idothinkthattheclinicianneedstoknowhowgirlsandwomencanbedierenttoboysandmenduringadiagnosticassessment.AskProfessorTonyProfessorTonyAttwoodistheAutismAspergersNetworkMagazinesresidentprofessionalAgonyAuntwellunclereadytoansweryourquestionsonallthingsrelatedtotheAutismSpectrum.PleasesendinyourquestionsforTonytoconsidertotonyattwoodaanmag.com.auPlusalsoreadextraquestionsansweredbyTonyonourinteractivesectionofourwebsiteatwww.aanmag.com.auaan-interactive 6AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEWorkingintheoperatingroomasaCertiedRegisteredNurseAnesthetistisaveryhigh-stressjobandinactwasincludedinarecentlyreleasedarticleothe14mosthighstressjobsinAmerica.Youhaveapersonslieinyourhandsoreachcase.Itisast-pacedtherearemanypeopleyouhavetodealwitheverydayrapidchangesoassignmentiatraumasuddenlygetsaddedtoyourroombrightlightsorthesurgeonstoworkunderotentimesloudmusiclikeHeavyMetallongperiodsotimewithoutgettingtoeatdrinkorusetherestroomdaysthatstartat6amsharp.itisntortheaintoheart.JustimaginehavingAspergersSyndromeandworkinginthisenvironmentAtergraduatingromColumbiaUniversityinNewYorkCityin1988withmyMasteroScienceinNurseAnesthesiaIsetoutworkingasaCertiedRegisteredNurseAnesthetistorsimplyaCRNA.Ivebeenworkingulltimeeversinceandhavelivedinvediferentstatesandworkedattendiferenthospitalsandneverhadanylapseoemploymentbetweenjobs.Irecentlydidanamazingcalculation.IvekepttrackoallthecasesIvedoneovermycareerwhichcomesoutto50000cases.Foreachothosecasesthereareapproximately20peopletointeractwithincludingthepre-opnursesandstafthepatientandtheiramiliessurgeonsoperatingroomstafmedicalstudentsResidentsandRecoveryRoomstaf.SoIcalculated50000times20whichequal1millioninteractionswithpeopleIdeelprettydarncondenttosaythisisaworldrecordoranAspieByANITALESKOASPERGERSJOBtheon AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE7ButwhatdoesitreallymeanItmeansIvegotincrediblewisdomtosharewithotherAspiesregardingthejobmarket.IvelearnedhowtocompartmentalizemyocusdespiteliteralchaosgoingonaroundmeandbeabletodomyjobFindinggettingandkeepingajobisanelusivematterorhundredsothousandsoAspies.FromallmyexperienceIhavelearnedalotohowtonavigatetheneurotypicalworld.Inmy26yearsonthejobIvealwaysbeentheonlyAspie.Ithasntbeeneasyorsure.IonlylearnedaboutAspergersouryearsagoandthengotormallydiagnosed.PriortothatIneverknewwhyIwassodierentandneverseemedtoitin.LookingbackIknowmysocialskillswerenotthereinthebeginningyearsomycareer.Idburnbridgesbutnotunderstandwhy.Iwasalwaysthetargetoworkplacebullyingandwonderwhyitwasalwaysmethatwassingledoutorsuchestivities.ItwasactuallythreatenedtoberedbecauseIwasdierent.IoncehadjuststartedanewjobthatImovedonethousandmilestogetto.Itwastherstweekonthejob.TheChieNurseAnesthetistcornersmeinalonehallwayandstatesYoudonttinherewhydontyoujustleaveIcanrememberhowmyheartsunktomytoesatthosewords.Shespentthenextsevenyearstryingtogetmered.Toherdismaytherewasonebigproblem.IamgreatatwhatIdo.Andthatsthebiggestkeytoanyoneonthespectrumonthejob.Youneedtobeexcellentatyourjobwhateveritis.WithTheAmericansWithDisabilitiesActyoucantgetredbecauseyouaredierentdonttinhaveadisabilityyougetthepictureAveryimportantaspectistakingresponsibilityoryoursel.Therearekeythingsthatareamusttobesuccessulintheworkplace.Thesearethethingsthatyouhavecontroloverandaresimpletoaddress.Firstyouroverallappearanceisimportant.Beingcleanneatniceclothesteethbrushedhaircombed.areabsolutelyimportantissues.Beingontimeorworkisanothermust.Ineveryonesliegettingafattireorthealarmdoesntgooorsomeunoreseenthinghappensandonceeveryouryearsyoucomelatetowork.Noproblem.ButdoitregularlyandyouwillbelookingoranewjobDoIlikeitwhenmyalarmgoesoat3amonweekdaysOcoursenot.ButitissomethingImustdotogettoworkontime.IactuallyliketogettherealittleearlysoImnotrushedandcansettleineasier.Bepolite.Everyoneenjoysbeingaroundsomeonewhoispolite.Oerhelptoothersevenitheyturnyoudown.Youmadethegesture.BeawarethatyesyouhaveAspergersandyesyouaredierentbutDONTocusonthat.Insteadocusonyourjobandhowyoucanexcelatit.Iyouaredoingyourjobsuccessullyyourbosscantreyouorbeingdierent.DontbearaidtotellyourbossyouhaveAspergers.IcantstressenoughotheimportanceoamiliarizingyourselwiththeAmericanswithDisabilitiesAct.Youcanviewitatwww.ada.govItisalsoimportantoryoutogetaormaldiagnosisromapsychologistorneuropsychologisttopresenttoyoursupervisor.Bereadytoeducateyourbossandco-workersaboutAspergers.YoumustbeyourownadvocateTheresnooneelsetheretodoitoryouAtergettingmyormalLookingbackIknowmysocialskillswerenotthereinthebeginningyearsofmycareer.Idburnbridgesbutnotunderstandwhy.Iwasalwaysthetargetofworkplacebullyingandwonderwhyitwasalwaysmethatwassingledoutforsuchfestivities. 8AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEdiagnosisIwasveryadamantaboutsharingthatwitheveryoneatwork.Ithelpsthembetterunderstandyouandwillcreateabetterworkenvironmentaswell.IyouaregettingbulliedatworkdontbearaidtoseekoutyourbossorvisittheHumanResourcesdepartmentatyourworkplace.Gettingbulliedonthejobisverydemoralizinganddownrightdangerous.Thereisnoplaceorthiskindobehavior.Youneedtoputastoptoitbyinormingtheappropriatepeople.Themoreyouinteractwithpeoplethebetteryougetatit.ThatmakesperectsenseItstotallyuptoyoutogetyourseloutthereintheworldandinteractwithpeoplebecausethathelpsyouonthejob.AnotherkeypointisdecidingwhatkindojobdoyouwantWhatareyourqualicationsDoyouhaveacollegedegreeAMastersdegreeOn-the-jobexperienceWhatinterestsyouWhatkindsothingsdoyouenjoydoingPerhapsyoucanturnaninterestintoacareerlikeTempleGrandindid.Youneedtoassemblealistoeverythingyouliketodo.Breakitdownintomicrocomponents.Thendeterminewhatkindsojobscoverthoseareas.Researchwhatisnecessaryorthejobsyouareinterestedintoqualiyorthem.Dontbearaidtoseekhelpromothersinyourjobquest.Themorepeopleyoumeetandtalktothemorelikelyyouwillbecometogetontherighttrack.Practiceinterviewingskills.Takeclasseswheretheyteachtheseskills.Aninterviewiscrucialobviouslyingettingajob.AndocourseAspiesworryaboutthisaspect.Butthemoreyoupracticeitthebetteryoubecome.Donteverlookatajobinterviewthatyoudidntgethiredasawasteotime.LookuponitasmoreexperienceinterviewingBepositive.Apositiveattitudegoesalongwaywithaprospectiveemployer.Dontgiveup.Bepersistent.Iyoudontgetacertainjobthersttrykeeptrying.Maybetrydierentapproaches.Seeiyoucangettotalktosomeonewhoworksthere.DontletthediagnosisoAspergerskeepyouromsucceedingintheworkplace.Itdoesrequiremoreeorttomaintainajobthananeurotypicalbutyoucandoit.OcourseiyougoorajobintheITworldyouwonthavetoworryaboutanyothisbecausemosteveryoneonthejobwillhaveAspergersorAspie-liketendenciessoyoulltrightinIamalwayshappytohearromellowAspiesandcanbereachedthroughmywebsitewww.bornwithaspergers.comAboutAnitaLeskoAnitajustturned54andwasonlydiagnosedwithAspergersSyndromeouryearsagoonlybychance.ShehadnoteverheardothewordAspergersuntilaco-workerssonwasdiagnosedwithitandgaveherahanduloinormationaboutAspergers.AsAnitareadonsherealizedshehadAspergers.ThatverynightshestoppedatthebookstoreonherwayhomeromworkandpurchasedTonyAttwoodsCOMPLETEGUIDETOASPERGERSSYNDROME.Allothepiecesothepuzzleoherlieellintoplaceandmadeapicture.Shenallyknewwhyshenevertinwhyshewasdierent.Shehadgoneherentireliewithoutknowingshehadasyndromethataectedeveryaspectoherlie.AnitagraduatedromColumbiaUniversityinNewYorkCityin1988withaMasteroScienceinNurseAnesthesiaandhasbeenworkingulltimeeversinceasaCertiedRegisteredNurseAnesthetist.Herspecialtyisanesthesiaorneurosurgerytraumaandtransplants.WhilestillworkingulltimeasananesthetistshebecameaninternationallypublishedmilitaryaviationphotojournalistandwrotearticlesanddidphotographyornumerousmilitaryaviationmagazinesincludingCombatAircratWingsoGoldNavalAviationNewsAirSportsInternationalandmore.Shesfowninghterjetsandhelicopters.AnitaisanaccomplishedequestrienneandhascompetedinjumpingcompetitionattheGrandPrixlevelandhasmadealielongpassionohorses.Anitaspent7yearsicedancingandskatedinnumerousiceshowsandcompetitions.AterlearningaboutAspergersandreceivingherormaldiagnosisAnitaWroteamemoirASPERGERSSYNDROMEWhenLieHandsYouLemonsMakeLemonade.AnitathenteamedupwiththeworldsleadingAspergersexpertDr.TonyAttwoodandCraigEvansoAutismHangoutdotcomtocreateasoon-to-be-releasedbookromJessicaKingsleyPublishingBeenThere.DoneThat.TryThisTheAspieMentorGuideToLieOnEarth.Thisrst-everbookcontainslieswisdomromDr.TempleGrandinAnitaLeskoJennierOToolLianeHolliday-WilleyDr.StephenShoreDr.LarsPernerandmanymoreItissetorreleaseinFebruary2014.Dr.TempleGrandinsbookDIFFERENTNOTLESSeaturesAnitaLeskoinChapter7AnitaLeskoNurseAnesthetistAviationWriter.AnitacanalsobeseenonTheAutismChannelonthedocumentaryBornWithAspergers.AnitaHasjuststartedanot-or-protorganizationTheFlyingHighWithAutismFoundation.ThersteventisanAutismconerencetobeheldattheUniversityoWestFloridainPensacolaFloridaJune7th8thTheFlyingHighwithAutismConerencewithworld-classspeakers.AtertheconerenceAnitaisplanninganinternationalschoolorchildrenonthespectrumagespre-schoolthrough22.AnitaisalsoplanningtheFlyingHighAspergersInstituteorteensthroughadulthood.AnitasgoalistomakePensacolaFloridatheAutismMeccaotheworldAnitaalsoisaconsultantorLieCoachingandjob-relatedissuesoradultsonthespectrum.www.bornwithaspergers.com AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE9ByhENNyKUPfERSTEINGIFTCMuscialAutisms 10AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEInthelanguageomusiccommunicationbecomespossiblethroughthegiveandtakeotonalityrhythmtimbreandphrasing.Peoplewhostudyaninstrumentormanyyearscanparticipateinsuchmusicalexchangesatimprovisationgroupsopenmicandjamsessions.Forparentswhoshuttletheirchildrentospeechandoccupationaltherapyeveryotherdaymusiclessonsallstothebottomotheprioritylist.Inaneorttoimproveonskillsthatarepresumedtobenecessaryordailylivinginnerexpressionsbecomecategorizedasrecreational.Thiscanbecounterproductivesincetheautisticbrainisspecifcallywiredtohaveextraordinarymusicalabilities.Autisticpeoplebeneftromtheneuraldierencesintheirauditoryperception.Thistypeodetail-orientedinormation-processinglendsitseltopreeminenceorfneartsmusicoverwhole-wordslanguageotenresultinginthephenomenonoperectpitchAbsolutePitchandsynaesthesia.Withnon-verbalstudentsmethodsorteachingtotheirgitmustbeappliedtoenhancetheireducabilityinallareasolie.Thiswaythegitallowsthemtoblazethroughtheirjourneytowardsimpressiveachievementsinmusicreadingcomprehensionmathematicsandsocialbehavior.Numerousresearchershavestudiedautisticindividualsandtheirmusicalityatertheyhavereportedlydemonstratedhighintelligencethroughmusicalcommunication.AbsolutePitchhasbeenacaptivatingphenomenonorresearchersthoughtherearemanydiscrepanciesonthecorrelationsbetweenautismandabsolutepitch.Absolutepitchhashistoricallybeenestimatedtoexistin1in10000othepopulation.Howevercurrentstudiesmostlytestedindividualsthroughnote-naming.Thislanguagecomponentinthetestingisinherentlybiasedagainstapopulationwithcommunicationdierences.Toproveintelligenceandmusicalitydierentassessmentmethodsarekey.SusanRancerisamusictherapistwhogetsit.HerselaperectpitcherSusanmaintainsaprivatepracticeintheSanFranciscoBayArea.Herworkisdevotedtoone-on-oneteachinginahighlyspecializedmanner.Almostallherautisticstudentshaveabsolutepitchandthreeoherstudentshavetransitionedintocollege.Susanexplainshowpeoplewithabsolutepitchareaddictedtosound.TheywillimitatevoicesromTVshowsmimichouseholdsoundsandcaralarmsandlearnlanguageswithauthenticaccentsinstantly.APpossessorsalsohaveaHennywithSusan AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE11tendencytosetimpossiblyhighstandardsorthemselvesandtheexplodewhentheydonotmasteraskillinstantly.Withtheabilitytoinstantlymatchandrecallpitchthepossessorbelievesthateverythinginlieshouldbemasteredwiththesameinstantaneity.Thisisthecauseomanylierustrationsanddelatedsel-esteem.Theindividualsbeginstothinkthattheyaresimplystupidwhenotherthingsinliedonotcometothemjustaseasily.Theirlessonsneedtobetaughtinwaysothatthestudentbeginscreatingsoundrightaway.Teachingscalesngeringandotheroundationaltechniqueswillbreakdownthestudentsmotivationtolearn.Modiyingthelessonbyusingcoloredstickerstomatchcolor-codednotestokeysistheantithesistothisprocess.Thestudentdoesbegintocreatesoundeasilyhowevertheylearnnonewskillwhichcarriesovertotheunctionalmusicalworld.Amongstseasonedmusiciansthisindividualthenallsthroughbytheailuresotheirtraining.Alternatelyteachingmusictheoryandnote-readingisaskillthatopensupinnitepossibilitiessuchascollegemusicprogramsandmusiccomposition.SocietyvaluesapersonwhoplaysMozartonthepianobecausereadingandmakingmusicintheclassicaltraditionisunderstoodasasignointelligence.Inaspeech-orientedworldthosewhospeakhavetheirthoughtsknown.Allothershavetondawaytomaketheirinnerthoughtsanddesiresbeheardthroughothermeans.Mydaughterhaslearnedthroughmusictherapythatshehadtheabilitytosingmoreketchupmoreketchupbytappingarhythmtopaceherselintoasong.Oeringthegitocommunicationtoanindividualshouldbeaprimarygoal.Findingtheappropriatemethodorteachingiscritical.Parentsshouldreuptheirdreamoprovidingpianolessonstotheirchild.Clinicianswhospecializeinteachingautisticstudentshavearrivedtotheirunderstandingbyreorganizingpianopedagogyortheirpractice.ItiscriticalnottotraintheirstudentstobecomingaMozart-playingconcertpianist.Musicisnotthegoaltraininginthedisciplineis.Theprocessolearningiswherethemagicbeginstohappen.Forstudentswhopossessabsolutepitchtheintensityotheirgitmustberealizedandusedtoeedtheotherlearningprocesses.Theproessionalpianoteacherinyourneighborhoodisnottrainedtoadaptherlessontoteachromthetopdown.Unabletogaugetheeducabilityothestudenttheteacherwouldgiveup.Onthefipsidemusictherapistsaretrainedtoincorporateincreaseeyecontactandimprovesocialinteractionasagoalortreatment.Inbetweenthesetwoproessionsarethehighlygitedindividualswhohavevastabilitieswaitingtobeaccessed.Studentswhohaveabsolutepitchwillbeabletoplayanythingtheyhavejustheard.Thisprodigiousabilitygetsinthewayotheteacher-studentrelationshipandbogglesthemindotraditionalmusicians.Thisisbecausetheautisticbrainmastersthecomplexinstantlyandthenstrugglestobreakitdownintothesimplertasks.1Synaesthesiaaneurologicalphenomenoninwhichthesensoryperceptionsothebrainarecrossed.Possessorsreporthearingspecicpitchesincolorandothersuchanomalies. 12AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEWhenapersoncansolveanalgebraproblemintheirheadtheundamentalmathlessonsonadditionandsubtractioncaneludesuchalearner.Forgitedabsolutepitchpossessorslearninghowtoreadmusiccanbeatediousandeventorturousprocessorboththeteacherandthestudent.Yetdevelopingmusicalknowledgeandskillsshouldbeunderstoodasanintegralpartounctionallivingandsocialadaptation.Nateisa7-year-oldboythatIamcurrentlyteachingpiano.Natehasadiagnosisoautismandisunctionallynon-verbal.Duringoneoourlessonsheenteredinacompletelyoverwhelmedstate.Heimmediatelybegansingingourgood-byesong.Fortheparentandormethiswasindicativeothepotencyothecommunicationskillsthathenowdevelopedasaresultothemusictrainingintheprevioussessions.ThankstothemovieTheKingsSpeechmorepeoplearenowawarethatindividualswithaspeechimpedimentdonotstutterwhilesinging.SotooNatehadnodifcultycommunicatinghisneedswhilesinging.Ourauditoryperceptionsoccuralongsidethebrainunctionsutilizedorgestaltthinking.Thiswhole-wordwayothinkingincorporatescolorandtextureinitsgreaterpicture.Computationalunctionssuchasmathematicsareprocessedintheletbrainareasandarealsoresponsibleorspeech.Additionallythisistheareawhichmustbeengagedoranindividualtobeabletoollowdirectionsvocalizethoughtsandrecallinerdetailsintheirmemory.Theigure-groundunctionsinthisareaareresponsibleorpickingoutwordsromapageandassociatingittoagivenmeaning.Whenscienceiscombinedwiththeartsallareasothebrainareutilizedencapsulatingdormantpossibilities.Inmanyschoolsastudentwithadiagnosiswillbeenrolledinanensemblejustlikeallotherstudents.Howeveritherearebehaviorissuestheteachermightputtheminthecornertoplaythetriangle.Thusthegitismarginalizedevenwhilethisindividualsmightverywellbethethemostmusicallytalentedintheroom.Insteadtheteachersgoalsshouldincludeattendanceeye-trackingneandgrossmotorskillsexecutiveunctionandmotorplanningtonameaew.Thisspecicmethodaordstheindividualthegitodemonstratingtheirintellecttoamilyriendsandteachers.Aschooldistrictcaneasilyrecognizesuchcompetenceasindicativeoahigherlevelsosophistication.Atthispointtheparentcanexpecttheeducationalteamtousethisdemonstrationostudentcompetencetojustiytakingstepstowardmainstreaming.Ahighlyspecializedteachingmethodmustbridgetheartsandsciencestoormamultidimensionalsumopracticethatisgreaterthanitsparts.Artandscienceareotendiametricoppositeshoweverwhenconjoinedalsoconnecttherightandletbrainpathwaysmeasurablethroughmodernmedicine.Theteachermustbeamalleatorosoundtoinvokestudentperceptiontherebycreatingbiopsychosocialchangetoalterprocessingothesubjectmatter.Thismethodologyreliesontheneurologicalstrengthsotheabsolutepitchpossessortobeginormingconnectionsinunderutilizedareasothebrain.Whenqualitymusiciseasilycreatedbytheabsolutepitchstudentinthesessiontheintrigueothemultisensoryexperienceromtactileplayingandauditoryperceptionscombinedbecomesthemotivatororplowingthroughthelesson.Musicisntwhatmakesussmarteritistheprocessolearningitthatdoes.Workingonthesegoalseachweekthroughharmonyandrhythmstimulatespatternrecognitionastranslatedromsymbols.Theseassociationsothemusicalnotesopensthebrainuptoquantitativereasoningabilitieswhichcarryovertoeveryareaolie.Thisishowmusiccanhelpbringaboutbothdignityorthestudentwithexceptionalitiesandachangeinsocialawarenessinpeersettingsorwhatthatstudentwithspecialgitscancontribute.Inthebroadestsensesocialchangecanbebroughtaboutthroughequalaccessandinclusionorartsandeducation.Acknowledgingneurodiversityinmusicisasteptowardinclusiveeducationorall.AboutHennyHennyKupersteinisaproliiccomposerwithadegreeinInterdisciplinaryStudiesorMusicLeadershipinSociety.Hennymaintainsaprivatepracticeandisarequentpresenterandconsultanttoparentsandeducatorsonthesubjectsomusicperectpitchautismandsensoryintegration.Hennycanbecontactedviawww.hennyk.comStudentswhohaveabsolutepitchwillbeabletoplayanythingtheyhavejustheard.Thisprodigiousabilitygetsinthewayoftheteacher-studentrelationshipandbogglesthemindoftraditionalmusicians.Thisisbecausetheautisticbrainmastersthecomplexinstantlyandthenstrugglestobreakitdownintothesimplertasks. AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE13SECURELYTHROUGHOURWEBSITEwww.aanmag.com.auEMAILUSATadminaanmag.com.auHOWTOORDERASUBSCRIPTIONAvailableinDigitalFormatsforiPadiPhoneAndroidandeReadersSUBSCRIBEANDSAVE6ISSUESPERYEAROneYearDigitalSubscription6issues24.00SingleIssueDigital6.00 14AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEWatchingmymotherssleepingbodystrappedtoahospitalbedbeingcarrieddownstairsandouttherontdoorintoanambulancewaslikewatchingasilentmovieinslowmotionoverandoverinmymindtryingtomakesenseothesituation.WhyweretheytakingherawayMyatherwasconvincedshewasmentalandneededhelpandtheonlywaythiscouldbedonewasbyhimsigningherintoapsychiatricintuitionoramandatorythreedays.Thiswasbackintheendo1983.MymotherhadalwaysbeendierentbutthenagainsohadI.Shewouldhardlyspeaktoanyonewasextremelyawkwardinsocialsituationshadnoriendsdidntliketobetouchedorhuggedveryotensheevenhadanoddgaitaboutherwalk.Whenreectingonsomeothecommentsmyathermadeaboutheruneminiewayswouldeventuallymakesomuchsensetomemanyyearson.Havingtwoincrediblybrightparentsmademyworldoneullointellectualisation.SpendinghourslookingthroughamicroscopeanalysingtheworldwasoneothebestgitsIcouldhaveeverreceivedromthem.Iwasalwaysallowedtoexpressmyselwithartwhichincludeddrawingondadshugeworkshedinwaxchalksontheatmetalsheetswalls.ImusthavebeenoneotheyoungestgraftiartistsatageourAterthreedaysomumbeingvacantrommyliewewereallowedtovisither.Apsychiatricwardbackinthe80sintheUKisnotsomethingashelteredourteenyearshouldhavetoexperience.Itwassomethingoutoahorrormoviepeoplegroaningmanyhadunkempthairlotsowhitecoatscrammedintooneoiceandrememberingthemlaughing.HowcanyoulaughinaplacelikethisItwasincrediblyrighteningandsad.Mumwassohappytoseeus.IhavedoneeverythingtheyaskedomeandIcancomehomenowsheexclaimed.Illneverorgetheracewhentheysaidno.LieseemedtodrainawayshewastryingtounderstandByBARBcOOKIwasdiagnosedwithAUTISMat40TheextendedstorythatappearedintheAustralianWomensWeekly AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE15whyshecouldntgohome.Thentheatalmistake..shehadahugemeltdown.ShewasdraggedawaydruggedandthatwasthelasttimeIsawhertruespiritmymumwasgoneOverthenext15yearsshewaspermanentlydruggedwithsomanycombinationsastheycouldntunderstandwhynothingworked.Onecombinationintheearlydaysmadeherpsychoticandshejumpedromtheroootheinstitution.Shewasluckytobealivebutendedupwithonelegshorterthantheother.Theygaveher18sessionsoshocktreatmentaterwhichshebecametotallylostinherownworld.Herliecametoanendwhenater15yearsoinstitutionalisationwhentheygaveheratoxiccombinationodrugs.ShewasnowfnallygoneromthetormentedworldoinstitutionsorwhichIwasgrateulorinsomeways.Butormethepainandtormentstilllivesoninme.AsIgrewupnowhavingenormousearomentalhealthorganisationsandproessionalsIlivedinearothisiswhatcouldhappentome.TheearthatIcouldhaveschizophreniamanicdepressionandparanoiaastheymisdiagnosedmymotherburntintomysoul.Sheneverdidanythingwrongexcepttobedierentinarigidviewotheworldsidealowhatisacceptableneurotypicalbehaviour.IconstantlystruggledthroughmyliewithtryingtoftinsocialsituationsoverwhelmedmetheearIwouldhavejusttryingtotalktopeoplemakingeyecontactwasconstantlypainul.Iwaslabelledasstuckuporyouthinkyouarebetterthanus.IwasntIjusthadnoideahowtotalkinaconversation.TalkingaboutmypassionormotorcyclesartorsciencewasntacceptablewheninagroupowomenwhoseconversationcontextwasaboutgossipwhoishavingababyordidyouwatchthatTVshow.Ieltsoaloneandtrappedbyinabilitytocommunicateeectively.RememberinghowmuchpainIeltsittinginthecoordinatorsoceoacollegeIwasattendingintheUKat17tryingtoexplaintothemthatIcouldntunderstandwhynoneothegirlsinmysecretarialcoursewouldspeaktomeandwouldtheymakesureIcouldntsitwiththemduringbreaks.SobbingatbeingletoutjustnevermadesensetothemsoIjustletandneverwentback.IeltlikeIwaslosingmymindatnotunderstandingtheworldandtheearobeinglockedawayconstantlymademeearul.Atermeetingmynowlongtermpartnerinthemid90sIfnallythoughtIhadmetsomeonethatknewexactlyhowIthought.Therewassomeonewhocouldunderstandtheneedorconstantknowledgeinput.ItwasaterbeingtogetherormanyyearsthatanadonTVorTourettesmademethinkagainthatthereissomethingdierentaboutPaulandIhavefndoutwhatitis.Ihadtriedinthepastlookingoranexplanationasinmanywayshewassimilartomymum.WithchangesintechnologyandavailabilityoinormationitwasnowmucheasiertosearchortraitsthatwouldeventuallybringupinmysearchAspergersSyndrome.ReadingthroughthedescriptionandcriteriaotraitsIwastotallytakenaback.ItwastickticktickOMGPaulhasaormoAutismbutevenmoreIwastickingtheseoormysel.ThewordAutismsprungtomindthetypicalimagesoapersonnonverbalappinghandsandrockinginthecornershutoromtheworld.IneverrealisedthatwiththisAutismSpectrumjusthowdiverseitcouldbebutwitheveryonehavingasimilarunderlyingconnection.For25yearsBarbtriedtokeephersymptomshiddenrommedicalproessionalsuntilshewasfnallydiagnosedwithAspergersat40.BarbwithhermotherMarinainthe80s 16AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEItfnallyallmadesense.DaysoresearchingtheinternetthegettingbooksromthelibraryandevenwatchingamoviecalledMozartandtheWhaleaboutacouplewithAspergerswassuchanemotionalrollercoasterorbothous.Paulcollapsedinthemiddleocookingdinneronenight.Hislegswentweakromthesheerenormityoitallespeciallyattheageo41andyearsobeingtheoutsiderbeingbulliedtorturedandmisunderstood.Insomewaysitwaslikegoingthroughthe5stagesogrie.Thedisbeliethegrietheangerthedespairandtheacceptance.WebothquicklygotintoseeapsychologistaterareerralromourGPswhichdidntgowithoutincidentanddisbelie.PaulsGPdidnotwanttobelieveitbutreluctantlygaveareerralordepression.Thereweremountainsopaperworktoflloutpriortotheappointmentbothorhisperspectiveandasminerommyperspectiveandviceversa.IswearPaulwasdiagnosedwithinthefrstfveminuteswithAspergersSyndrome.Butormeitwasdierent.BeingaemalewithandAutismSpectrumConditionsisalothardertouncoverduetothemaskingandadaptationswemakethroughoutourlives.IwasinitiallymisdiagnosedwithBipolarDisorder.MyearswereignitedIwasgoingtoendupinaninstitutionortherestomylie.Theearsransodeepwithmeromthetraumaticexperiencesomymother.Iletheroiceindespair.ItisquiteotenwithwomenandgirlstobeinitiallymisdiagnosedwithBipolarorapersonalitydisorder.AstimewentonPaulourishedatfnallybeingabletounderstandhimselbutIcouldnotmaketheconnectiontomymisdiagnosisoBipolar.IeltdoomedandthatIhadnouture.Icouldntmaketheconnectionswiththecriteriaorbipolar.MywayswerentgrandiosebutIcameacrossasthatasIhadnoideahowtocommunicate.Myhyperocusontopicsandspecialinterestswereblurredintobeingmanicazes.Icanunderstandhowthesecanbemisinterpretedbutevenstilltheycanbedevastating.ItwasaboutsixmonthslaterweattendedahealthseminarinourlocaltownwiththelocalGPgivingatalkonwomenshealth.ForsomeveryoddreasonasIwatchherIhadthisimmediateconnection.IcouldhardlycontainmyselwhenitcametothebreakIhadtospeakwithher.IwalkedstraightupinterruptedherconversationwithanotherandannouncedmynameandthatIhadbipolar.ShelookedatmewithsuchacaringwarmheartthatIhadneverexperiencedbeoreandsaidcomeandseeme.Thepurecompassionshehadorpeoplejustradiatedromher.MyfrstappointmentwithherItookPaulwithmeandexplainedthatIdidnteelrightaboutmydiagnosis.ShejustlookedatmeandsaidnowaydidIhavebipolar.ShewatchtheoddinteractionsobothmeandPaulfnishingeachotherssentencesknowingeveryfnedetailstalkingoverthetopoeachotherandshecouldkeepupWhenwebothtalkandareexcitedwearelikeaninormationoverloadtothepoorrecipientwithquiteotenthewordSTOPtopullusintoamoremanageableconversationthatmostpeoplecancopewithIwassentotoapsychiatristwhotestedandanalysedmewithsuchaprecisionandin-depthdegreethatIswearhewasalsoaellowAspie.IwasvideoedtestedwithmultiplequestionshadtowritepagesandpagesowhatmychildhoodwaslikedidreadingandtrackingtestswhichalsoshowedIhadalearningdicultyeventhoughmyIQisabove150.Iwassobrightbutsoawkward.Whenwritingandrelivingyourlieyouseethatcracksthedierencesandtheclumsinessthatallinallymakesense.MydiagnosisAspergersSyndromeandADHD.DuringthediagnosticprocessitwasinterestinglisteningtohimexplaintomethatIhadAspergersSyndromebutitwasdierent.ItisonlynowintheselastcoupleoyearsthatemaleprofleoAspergersSyndromeisemergingandwithanewdiagnosticcriteriadesignedespeciallyorwomenandgirlsbeingdevisedbyProessorTonyAttwoodwillagainbetterimprovenotonlythediagnosticprocessbutsparethedamagingmisdiagnosisthathasoccurredwaytoomanytimesinthepast.FinallyIhadacceptanceinmylieasdidPaul.Wenowunderstoodwhowewereanditgaveusapersonalempowermentthatwedidhavesomethingtooertheworld.Wenolongerlistenedtothenaysayersthepeoplethatsaidyouwillneveramounttoanythinginyourliebutmoreimportantlywenowhadadirectionandapurposetoourdierentbutnotlesslives. AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE17socialwellbeingFriendsipsByJENElchESONFemalesontheSPECTRUMWhatmakesawomanonthespectrumagoodfriend 18AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEsocialwellbeingGreetingsonceagainromCanadaItisalovelysummerdaybeingspentinsolitude-justhowIlikeitGoingbacktomylastcolumnIdiscussedmyexperienceswithriendshipsandhowmyonlinecommunicationsopenedmanydoorstoriendships.InthisissueIwouldliketodiscusssomeothequalitiesthatmakewomenonthespectrumgreatriends.FriendshipsAREpossibleorspectrumitesandsincethereissimplytoomuchnegativityaroundASCsIwanttoocusonthepositives.Ithasbeensaidthatmanyadultwomenonthespectrumdonothaveriends.Manypreertoonlybeinthecompanyotheirpartnerchildrenamilymembersorpets.Thosewhohadriendswhentheywereyoungernolongerhavethemasadultsandduetodicultiesinmakingandkeepingriendsmanyhavegivenuponriendships.OcoursethisdoesnotapplytoallwomenonthespectrumbutevenrommyownobservationsIhavenoticedthatthedynamicsdescribedabovearestillverycommon.Formeitwasabitdierent.WhenIwasyoungerriendshipswerequitediculttonavigateasmentionedinmypreviouscolumnandcurrentlyhavemoreriendshipsnowinmy30sthaninmywholelie.ThisdoesnotmeanIhavetransormedintoanextrovertedsocialbutteryonthecontrary.Iwillalwaysbeveryintrovertedpreerringtobesocialinsmalldoses.HoweverinsayingthatIamthetypeospectrumitethatstillneedsriends.Oneothemainmechanismsthathelpedmemakeriendswastheinternet.IcansocializeonmyowntermsinthecomortomyownhomeanddonotneedtobeasconscientiousaboutgettingsocialnormsrightasmuchasIwouldinreallie.LetssayiIhavetogetupandleaveorwhateverreasonitusuallyisnotconsideredrudelikeitisinreallie.IcanthinkthroughwhatIamgoingtosayratherthanblurtsomethingout.Ialsodontneedtoworryaboutmakingpropereyecontactortryingtodeciphernon-verbalcues.WhenIamonlineIliketovisittheASautismgroupsIamparto.ItwasonlyaewyearsagooutocuriosityIsoughtoutsuchgroups.Iwasveryhappytofndoneinparticularorwomenonly.IdidnotknowmanyotherwomenwithASautismatthetimeandthegroupgavemeachancetomeetwomenromallovertheworld.Ihavesincebecomeriendswithmanymembersandweareverymuchlikeatightknitsisterhood.Fortheveryfrsttimeinmanyoourliveswehaveasaehaventodiscusspersonalissuesthatwehaveneverdiscussedwithanyoneelsebeore.TobeamongsuchasupportivegrouphastaughtmemoreaboutmyselandmyASthananyproessionallywrittenbookhas.Ihavealsooundpeersupporttobemorehelpulthantherapy.Havinglikemindedindividualstodiscusslieonthespectrumwithisagitinitsel.Thoughweonthespectrumdohaveahardtimewithriendshipswestillhavemanypositiveattributestooerwhenothersgiveusachanceorwhenweareamongotherslikeus.Itisamythtothinkspectrumitesarenotcapableoriendships.Weotendonotneedalotoriends.Sometimesevenoneriendissucientasmanyousonlyhavesomuchsocialenergy.SincemyocusonthisarticleiswomenIwouldstillliketoaddthatIalsoknowsomeamazingguysonthespectrumwhoalsohavethequalitiesIamabouttodiscussbelow.AttributesthatmakewomenonthespectrumgoodfriendsHonestBluntandtothepointWecallthingsasweseethemandwepreertruthoverdeception.Imyselhatehavingtolie.Ialwayseelbetterortellingthetrutheveniitwouldhavebeensupposedlyeasiertolie.MybluntnessalthoughnotassevereasitwaswhenIwasyoungerisabigpartowhoIamandIwouldnotchangethatoranyoneoranything.AellowwriterIknowhasthistosayaboutthehonestyshehasexperiencedamongherspectrumriendsinonlinegroupsIwishtherestotheworldworkedthisway.ThisisoneothethingsIloveaboutbeingautisticandpartotheautisticcommunity.MostouscuttheBSandjustsayitlikeitis.Itmakesconversationlowmucheasieramongstopenmindedautistics.WeactuallyTakeMeASIAmACanadianAsperwomanAloneWithHerThoughtsPhotocourtesyofGrantStovel AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE19socialwellbeinggrowandlearnoeachother.Ivebeeninconversationswithnonautisticswheretheconversationjustgoesaroundandaroundincirclesnevergettinganywhere.Itisintenselyboringandmind-numbingthatIswitchoanddontwanttoengagebecauseitissuchawasteomytime.LoyaltyWeareextremelyloyaltothosewecareabout.OnewomanIknowsaidshewoulddoanythingorariendexceptbreakthelaw.Imyselcanagreewiththis.MyriendsalwaysknowthatitheyneedmetheycandropmeanemailtextorIManytime.Howeverioneistobreakourtrustwemaynotbetooorgivingaswetendtohaveanallornothingapproachtomanythings.IhavealwaysbeenreallyloyalasariendandunconditionallyacceptingbutwhenIambetrayedonetoomanytimesnomatterhowmuchIcareIshutthemoutsaysariendominewithAspergers.RudySimoneinherbook22ThingsAWomenWithAspergersSyndromeWantsHerPartnertoKnowevenhasachaptertitledTrustAbuseitandLoseit.Selexplanatory.PassionateHelpfulandKnowledgeableOnceIwasabletomakelikemindedriendswithsimilarinterestsitwasmucheasiertoengagewithothers.Ioneisriendswithaspectrumiteemaletheycanexpectariendwhohasararepassionorthingsthatinterestthem.Weareveryintenseindividuals.IhavemyshareoriendsonthespectrumandIhavelearnedsomuchromthem.Wewouldmuchratherdiscusssomethingatlengththandosuperfcialchitchat.Itsastraightermoreauthenticanddeepriendshipwithussaysaspectrumsisteromine.ShethengoesontosayWerealsouninterestedinmundanechitterchatterandgossipsoourconversationtendstobemoreaboutrealthingsthattrulymatterinthebiggerschemeothings.WearelogicalandpracticalsowecanoergenuinesupportandadvicewhenrequiredandalsonotrequiredlaughsForexampleisomeoneinoneotheonlinegroupshasaquestionsomeonewillrespondtothebestotheirknowledgeandevenusecorrectsourcesthatpertaintotheinquiryandthenadiscussionusuallyollows.Wearenotwiredorshallowcommunicationasitmakesmanyousuncomortableandconused.ThoughIcandothechitchatmuchbetternowthanwhenIwasyoungeritisnotsomethingIenjoy.GetalongwithmenplatonicallyOnethingthathasotenbeendiscussedinthegroupsIampartoiswomenonthespectrumtendtogetalongbetterwithmenthanotherwomen.Imyselhavesomewonderulplatonicmaleriends.SomearealsoonthespectrumwhileothersareveryeasygoingandopenmindedNTs.Ipersonallytendtouselogicoveremotionandunderstandmenalotbetterthanmostwomen.Menaremoreliteralandotensaywhattheymeanandmeanwhattheysaythereisnoreadingbetweenthelines.Itisalsoeasiertoexchangeinormationwiththemasthatishowmanyothemcommunicateaswell.Womenonthespectrumareknowntodeygenderstereotypessothisalsocomesintoplay.IhaveemaleriendsonthespectrumwhoconsiderthemselvesgenderlessinsidebecausetheydonoteelullyemaleormaleCreditimageenhancementGinaKennedy 20AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEsocialwellbeingbutthatisawholeotherdiscussion.Furthermoreiawomanonthespectrumsayssomethingsociallyinappropriateamaleriendwillusuallynotbeoendedorbothered.OneomyavouritethingsabouthavingguyriendsisnotexpendingmuchmentalenergyinwatchingwhatIsay.OpenmindedandNon-JudgmentalAlthoughweallareknowntohaveouropinionsandbiasesthegroupowomenonthespectrumIhavegottentoknowaresomeothemostopen-mindedindividualsIhaveevermet.ManycanagreethatwhenitcomestoriendswedonotjudgeothersbasedontrivialitiessuchaspersonalappearanceracegendersexualorientationetcWewouldratheracknowledgeanotherorwhotheyareontheinsideasahumanbeing.Andthoughwemaynotlikeeverythingaboutapersonwewillrespectthemitheyrespectus.Sincemanyoushavebeenostracizedandbulliedweknowalltoowellhowiteelswhenothersjudgeus.Womenonthespectrumaresomeothemostacceptingindividualsonecouldmeet.NotCattyorCompetitiveThisisanimportantone.Ithereisonethingawomanonthespectrumcannotwraphermindarounditiscattinesscompetitionandplainoldbitchiness.Thisisotenwhywedidnotftinwithorunderstandothergirlsatschool.Ineverunderstoodtheirhiddenmotivationsorsocialhierarchiesandwasbulliedasaresult.BeoreIjoinedthegroupsonlinethelastthingIeverwantedtobewaspartoalargegroupowomenInactthemerethoughtmademeanxiousWhatIcametorealizethoughisspectrumitesaredierent.Iwehavesomethingtosayweotensayitandeventhoughwemaynotbethemosttactulwedonotbelieveinbackstabbingormanipulatingothers.Supportandunderstandingisreadilyavailableisomeoneneedstotalk.Wearealsonotsociallycompetitiveasmanyoushavenoideahowtoevenbethatwaymyselincluded.Thisnowconcludesmycolumn.Thoughweonthespectrumdostrugglewithsocializingandcommunicatingweshouldnotbewithoutcaringandsupportiveriendships.WewomenonthespectrumhavemuchtooerandtheabovelistisonlySOMEotheamazingattributeswehavetooer.OcourseIcouldgoonandonbutthispieceisalreadylongenough.Iyouareawomanonthespectrumreadingthisandwanttomakelike-mindedriendsonlineisagreatplacetostart.Seekoutgroupsonlineoryourlocalautismsupportgroup.IknowormyseltheonlinegroupsIbecamepartochangedmyliebecauseIwasinallyabletoconnectwithotherswhogetit.GiveitatryCheersJenJenwithherfriendDawnPhotocourtesyofLindaLAMBDACabaret AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE21AutismSpectrumConditionASCislie-longandaectsasmanyas1in88people.Individualsexperiencedicultieswithsensoryissuessocialinteractionandimpairedcommunicationandquiteoteneeltheyaredierent.ItcanbeachallengetoknowwheretostartwhenlookingorhelpaboutanAutismSpectrumConditionASC.WhatdoIdoirstWhodoIaskorhelpWillmydoctorunderstandmeWhydoesmyamilynotunderstandmeThesearejustsomeothemanyquestionsthatsootenarisewhenanASCissuspectedordiagnosed.Awarenesssupportandeducationromamiliessupportservicesschoolsandhealthproessionalsallhaveamajorimpactinimprovingthelivesandwell-beingorthoseontheAutismSpectrum.ItiswiththiscollaborationoessentialservicesthattheAustralianAutismAspergersNetworkInc.aimstoimproveawarenessandservicesthroughoutAustralia.AustralianAutismAspergersNetworkInc.isprimarilyrunbyindividualsthatareontheAutismSpectrumastheycanrelateandunderstandwhatisneededintheautismcommunityaswellgivingasenseosolidaritytothewidercommunity.WeeelthattheAustralianAutismAspergersNetworkInc.ismuchneededincreatingastrongerandunitedorceorthecommunity.TheAustralianAutismAspergersNetworkInc.providestheollowingtothewholeAutismCommunityacomprehensiveonlinewebsitewithreliableinormationeventsworkshopsAustraliawidedirectoryoservicesresourcesactsheetssupportgroupsservicesgovernmentinitiativeslatestresearchbookreviewsmore.Developmentoachildrensinteractivelearningwebsiteiscurrentlyunderconstruction.hostingworkshopsseminarsandconerencesthroughouttheyearrangingintopicsromeducationteensadultswomenandemploymentwithrespectedproessionalsandmembersotheautismcommunityopeningmultiplelowcostcentresprovidingpsychologyoccupationaltherapyspeechpathologyandeducationandprovingservicesasbulkbilledHCWAorsponsorshipthroughourassociationsponsoringindividualsandamiliesinfnancialcrisisenablingthemtoaccesstherapyoreducationalservicesnecessaryordevelopmentdevelopingspecialisedprogramsspecifcallyorchildrenandadultsontheautismspectrumunitingtheservicescurrentlyavailabletotheAutismCommunitywiththeoutcomeoprovidingbetterandeasieraccessorindividualsandamiliesprovidingonlinesupportviaemailonlinegroupsandacebookpagesprovidingtherapyequipmenttoindividualsandamiliesthatareinfnancialhardshipegiPadstabletstherapytoysandaidsetcsupportgroupsoradultsamiliesandchildrenholdingamilyundaysacomprehensivelibrarybeingproactiveinthecommunitybyattendingspecialeventstoraiseawarenessandacceptanceonAutismSpectrumConditionsWEBwww.aaanetwork.com.auEMAILinoaaanetwork.com.auIncorporationNumberIA40857AUSTRALIANAUTISMASPERGERSNETwoRkBringingtogethersupportandservicestotheAutismCommunityAAANETWORKAUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKINC.AUSTRALIANINC.TheAustralianAutismAspergersNetworkInc.isanAustralianregisterednotorproftcharityprovidingcomprehensiveinormationservicesandsupporttotheAutismCommunity.WerepresentthemanyindividualsandamilieswhoaretouchedbyAutismSpectrumConditions.MembershipallowsyoutobepartoadiverseandvastcommunityoryoutovoiceyourconcernsandbepartoanetworkthatisadvocatingoreveryoneontheAutismSpectrum.PatronsProfessorTonyAttwoodDrMichelleGarnett 22AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEsocialwellbeingIgrewupreadingbookslisteningtomusicandwatchingmoviesaboutlove.IrememberwhenIwasabouteightmyolder-andsomewhatAspie-brothercommentingthathedidntwanttolistentosongsaboutloveastheywerestupid.IwasntquitesocynicalbutIdidwonderwhatitwasallabout.ApparentlyasahumanbeingIwassupposedtolovemyparentsmybrothervariousgrandparentsauntiesandcousinsonedaymyhusbandandchildrenandotherlessobviousthingslikesportsteamsmycountryandGod.Itdidntmakeanawfullotofsensetome.Mymumtoldmeshelovedmefromtimetotimeandthatseemedtobeagivenasfarasmyresearchsourcesbooksandtelevisionhadtaughtme.Mumslovedtheirkidsthatwasafactoflife.IwonderedifIlovedmymum.Ididntreallyknowwhatlovingsomeonewassupposedtofeellike.Itookmyfamilysituationforgranted.Iassumedthateverybodyhadsomekindofapproximateversionofourlifeacaringanxiousmumirritablebutfunfatherandanolderbrotherwhowasgoodforplayinggameswithdotingauntiesandseriousuncleslovingoldercousinsandwonderfulelderlygrandparents.ManyofthesepeopleexpressedtheirloveformebutIcouldntfeelitinanytangibleway.Iaccepteditasbeingpartofhowthesesortsofthingsweresupposedtowork.attachmentclosenessloveByJEANETTEPURKISWhatsLOVEgottodowithitIdidntunderstandhowtobeapropergirlriend.IdidntlistentomypartnerverymuchIwasnotasensitiveloverandIwasreallyquiteselfsh. AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE23socialwellbeingAsIgrewolderIlearnedmoreaboutthislovethingthateveryonewassokeenon.AsateenagerIwatchedmanylmsaboutromance.Theemaleleadsintheselmsseemedabitvacuousandsillytome.Ididntwanttobelikethoseprettyactorsputtingloveabovetheircareerorinterests.SurelyacareerwasamoreuseulthingthanloveLoveseemedtocausethesecharacterstomakeoolishchoices.Andloveportrayedintheselmswasalwaysbetweenamanandawomanandthewomanwasalwayssmaller-inbothphysiqueandintellect-thantheirmalepartner.ComingromaconservativeChristianbackgroundIgrewupknowingthatonedayIwouldneedtonishwhateverIwasdoing-studyorwork-andmarryamanandthenhavechildren.Apparentlythismadewomencompleteandwasourdestiny.FromaveryyoungageIthoughtthisseemedalittleunair.AndasIgrewolderanddiscoveredsexualityIthoughtitallrathericky.Ihadnowishtomarryamanandhavechildren.ChildbirthsoundedverypainulandIdidntlikelittlekidsverymuch.WhatonEarthwasIgoingtodowithmyseliIhadtolivethisliethathadbeenlaiddownormeapparentlyorgenerationsIescapedthisdubiousateasIletthechurchwhenIwasteenandwentontoapparentindependenceandtheworldoarevolutionarysocialist.Thesocialistshadnopatiencewithromanticloveseeingmeaninglessdetachedsexasabetterchoice.Inmynewworldtheamilywasanoppressiveinstitutiondesignedtokeepwomendowntrodden.Wewereallverypracticalandearnest.IhadmyrstsexualrelationshipwhenIwas20andwasntquitesurewhatwasgoingon.Ididntunderstandhowtobeapropergirlriend.IdidntlistentomypartnerverymuchIwasnotasensitiveloverandIwasreallyquiteselish.ButcontrarytomysocialistsensibilitiesIeltadegreeoattachmentormypartner.WhenwesplitupIwasquitesad.ButIstillneverthoughtthatIhadlovedher.Wehadsharedatimeophysicalintimacyandpoliticalprotestandnowwewerenishedwitheachother.AstheyearswentonIhadanumberosexualrelationships.Ibecameunwellwithmentalhealthissuesandmyliestyleunderwentalargenumberochanges.Nolongerasocialistasathirtyyear-olduniversitystudentwhohadonlyrecentlyacceptedmyAspergersdiagnosisIthoughtthatitwouldbenicetoeellove.Ihadalwayseltadistancebetweenmyselandtherestohumanity.IcouldeelwarmthtowardsothersbutIeltthatiIwerethelastpersonalivetheonlythingIdmissromtheotherhumanswouldbeinterestingconversation.IeltclosertomycatsthanIeverhadtootherpeopleandIguredthatthiswasadecitinmycharacter.IwantedtolovebutitwasnotsomethingIcouldorce.IworriedthatIwouldnevereelclosenesstootherhumansthatIwouldbedeniedtheexperienceolovethatotherpeopleachieved.JustasIwasatthestageoeelinglikeacoldandbrokenhumanbeingmysisterinlawannouncedthatshewashavingababy.Iwasveryexcitedattheprospectoalittlenieceornephew.Imetmyeldestniecethedayatershewasborn.AsIheldthistinybabyinmyarmsmyheartmelted.IwasoverwhelmedwithloveIhadnotexpectedthistohappenbutitwaswonderul.NowIamstillquitedistantanddetachedemotionallybutIcanloveasmallselectionopeople.Itcertainlyisnicetounderstandwhatalltheussisaboutthough.4Youcannotorceloveoremotionalcloseness.Whenithappensithappens.IitdoesnthappenthatsOKtoo.4YouareauniqueindividualandhowyouexperienceattachmentandclosenessisOKeveniitdiersromothersexpectations.4Notbeingabletoeelloveinaconventionalwaydoesnotmeanthatyouarecold-heartedthatyoudontcareaboutothersorthatyouareapsychopath.4ItsOKtoeelloveorcatsdogsotheranimalsorinanimateobjects.4ItsOKnottoeelloveatall.Itdoesntmakeyouanylessoapersonthanotherswhocan.4Sometimeswhenitcomestoclosenesstoothersandloveweindourselvesakingitandtryingtopretendweeelthingsthatwedont.Itsalmostalwaysbettertobeourselves.4Theloveportrayedinmoviesandtelevisionisotenquiteunrealistic.Reallieveryrarelyimitatesromanticctionandmovies.Dontjudgeyourrelationshipsbythestandardsonovelsorlms.4Themostimportantpersontoloveisyoursel.Ithisseemsdifcultyoucanstartbybeingkindtoyoursel-avoidingputtingyourseldowninconversationslearningtoenjoytreatsandpleasantexperiencesandthinkingoallthethingsyoulikeaboutyoursel.4Trytosurroundyourselwithpositivepeoplewhoappreciateandloveyou.SometipsforotherAspies 24AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEAllmylieIhavesueredromsevereanxiety.IirstrealisedIwasontheSpectrumaterreadingRudySimonesbookinFebruary2012.PriortothatmyMumhadsuspectedIwasonthespectrumbutIwasindenial.IhaddoneanessayonAspergersaewyearsbeoreaspartomystudyinwhichIlearnedthatautismwasonlylikelytooccurinemalesiitwasseverenon-verbal.ThismadesensetomebecauseIhadanon-verbalautisticacquaintance.IcametotheconclusionthenthatIcouldnotbeonthespectrum.FastorwardaewyearsandIwasanewMumstrugglingtoadjusttomotherhood.Iounditchallengingandoverwhelming.IhadalwayseltdierentandMotherhoodaccentuatedmydierencesandmypre-existingco-morbidconditionsanxietyanddepression.AtthispointIwaslookingorwaystofxmyselsoIcouldcopebetterandbemorenormal.IdecidedtolookmoreintoAspergers.IreadRudySimonesbookAspergirls.Rudysbookchangedmylie.Ispentmosto2012unsurewhetherornotIwasontheSpectrum.Istartedseeingapsychologistwholivednearbyandspecialisedinemalesonthespectrum.ShewasveryhelpulinvalidatingmeasapersonwithAS.Iamverygrateulorthat.AtthispointIjoinedtosomeemaleAspieFacebookgroupsandlurkedorawhileduetomylackoconfdenceandnotknowingmyselwell.EventuallyIgotmoreinvolvedinthegroupsandrealisedthatamazinglyIrelatedtosomanyquirksandstrugglesowhattheotherAspiewomenwerediscussing.Iwasgraduallybecomingmoresel-aware.Myanxietybegantogetworseatermysonwasborn.IhadpushedmyselsohardtomaintainaleveloappearingnormalandfttingintorolesIByKERRILYNNHARRISAcceptanceResplendentThissheddingolayersthisunravelingomysoulomyminditsaprocessadetoxaliberation.Imragileyetstrong.Imbrokenyethealing.ImcrackedyetIllbeflledwithgold.Progressislagging.Acceptanceisanexertion.Painulraw.Emotionshistrionic.Healingisauspicious.Emergenceistranspiring.Freshnewsoulnewborn-like.Mindchangingdevelopingneuralpathways.Sheddingreleasingtoxiclayeratertoxiclayerfnallyrevealedbeneaththemessybrokenlayersisanewormedsel.Areesel.Liberated.Loved.Whole.Emergence.AnewborncreatureasoulInowknowandlove.Fragileyetcomplete.Newunderstandingosel.Finallywingsareree.Iemergemysel.Mytruesel.Liberatedandree.Resplendent.PoembyKerrilynnHarrisSelf AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE25eltIhadtothatIbrokedown.EarlierthisyearIexperiencedAutisticburnout.Ineededtotakeabreakromaaewresponsibilitiesinmylieandamnowslowlytakingonmoreresponsibilities.Iputmysonintodaycareaewdaysaweektoallowmyselsometimetorecoverandstartedseeingaparentingspecialisttohelpmecopewiththestressoparenting.HeencouragedmetosetupanartstudioinourgaragesoInowhaveaspacetorejuvenatemycreativity.TohelpmeinmymotheringjourneyIstartedaFacebookAspieMothersgroup.ThroughthisgroupIhavemadesomereallieconnectionswithotherAspiemothersandtheirsupporthasbeenhelpulinmyprocessolettinggoopersonasthatarenotwhoIam.IremembersittingonmybedonedayearlierthisyearthinkingtomyselAllthethingsthatIhavedoneinmyliehavebeentohelpotherseelcomortablearoundme.IhavetriedsohardtocreatethisselthisidentitytoappearnormalandorwhatIthasletmeburntoutandunhappy.IrememberconsciouslycreatingthisidentitywhenIwasyoungerandunawareoAS.Iremembergauginghowothersreactedtomewatchingcloselytoseehowtheyinteractedwithotherpeople.Iworkedtocreatethisselthatwouldhopeullyhelpmeftin.Itdidnotocourse.Istilloundsocialsituationsoverwhelming.Istillstruggledtoconnectsocially.IcanseenowthatIwasreallynotthatsel-aware.IalwayseltIwastoosomethingsotriedtohideallthetoos.IeltIhadtohidemytruesel.IwasdiagnosedwithAspergersinSeptember2012byapsychologist.IknewIhadASdeepdownbuthearingitromanotherpersonwasjustsorelievingandvalidating.OncediagnosedIeltgreat.Itwaslikeahoneymoonperiod.IeltIhadoundaamilyviaFacebookgroupsandwasnotamisft.Ihadadelayedreactiontomydiagnosis.Irememberormonthsatereelingdisconnectedrommysel.Ididnotknowhowtoprocessitorputitintowords.Ieltlostwithinmysel.IntimeIwasabletostartormingwordsandunderstandingtheprocessIwasgoingthrough.Oncetheullrealisationomydiagnosishitme-severalmonthslater-Ieltsolost.IeltIhadlivedalieuntilthen.IdislikedtheselIhadcreated.IbegrudgedtheactthatIputmyselthroughtheseexpectedsocialsituationsespeciallyasanewmum.Irealiseditwasnothelpultomeatall.Forexamplealotothenormalnewmumthingslikemeetingupwithothermumsdidntreallyhelpme.Theyallwantedtochatandtalkabouttheirbabies.Ijustwantedabreakrommybabyandtotalkaboutsomethingintelligentoronce.Istartedthisprocessosheddingthepersonas.Iseetheprocessosheddingselvesandfndingmytrueselassheddingcicadaskins.Thecicadaliecycleisquitesymbolictome-Theylivepartotheirlieunderground.Thentheycrawloutromundergroundandliveaboveground.Theyshedtheirskinintheprocess.FromanAspieriendIwanttobelievethateventhoughwedevelopthesecopingmechanismspersonaswhateverthatwearestillusinsideandthatthosewhoreallyloveuswillstillloveus.Thosewholovedthefaadewillgoaway.Itellmyhusbandthatthepersonhemarriedischangedorever.ThatIamanewsel.SoarthepersonasIhaveletgooaresocialunoutgoingselreligiousselmotherhousewiesel-whereIthoughtIhadtobethisperectwiemother.SomedaysevennowIwakeupandeelconidentinwhoIamandknowmyselwell.OtherdaysIjusthavenoidea.Ieellostanddisconnectedrommysel.Thosedaysareachallenge.IhavereachedapointwhereIacceptmyselbecauseIunderstandmysel.IamlearningtobeatpeacewithwhoIamandtheprocessesIhavetogothroughasanAspie.Inolongereelaneedtoixmysel.IstillslipintothepersonasIcreatedwhenIneedtobutInolongerlosemyselinthem.Ihaveinallyoundmysel.AboutKerrilynnIamamotheroatwoyearoldwriteroarticlesaboutAspergershealthandlieexperiencesandImanartistorselsatisaction.Iamonajourneyorediscoveringmycreativesel.IhaveablogandaYoutubeChannelwhereIsharemyexperiencesoalateAspergersdiagnosisanditsimpactonmylie.Youtubehttpwww.youtube.comuserTigerKezvideosBloggerwww.disabilityableismautismandmotherhood.blogspot.com.au 26AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEregularLatelyIvenoticedaninterestingashiontrendpoppingupallovertheplace.Nebulas.Theyresilkscreenedontoleggingsandcomputerkeyboarddecals.Theyresetintoglassearringspendantsandrerigeratormagnets.Theyreonsunglassramesandsmartphonecasessheetsetsandevenapersonalliquorlask.Imnotsurewhenthetippingpointcameorevenwhatitwasthatmadenebulasthethemedelamode.Itseemsabitrandom.Butthenagainitseemskindowonderultoo.WhoknowsMaybethetougheconomymadesoulsweary.Maybetheendothespaceshuttleprogramdeateddreamsandimagination.Maybesomebodyinadesignhousesomewherejustlikesastromony.Whateverthereasonornebulas-gone-wildIhappentothinkitsantabulous.Perhapsinthehasteandarroganceomodernamenitiesweorgethowmuchmoremysteryexiststhansureity.AndsoweinstinctivelyturnourimaginationstotheopenskyandsaylovinglytoourchildrenDonttellmetheskysthelimitwhenthereareootprintsonthemoon.Nebulas.Leggings.Philosophy.Admittedlynottheaverageareoradiscussiononautism.OrAspergers.Orparenting.ButthenagainwhoseverbeenenlightenedordelightedormovedbyaverageWonderliesbeyondwhatis.Itlingersonlyinwhatmaybe.Sincethedawnomankindwevebeenlookingup.Wedesignedour360degreecirclebyobservingabouthowmanydaysittookoraconstellationtoreturntoaparticularlocation.Wevelinkedthecosmostoourmythologiesandscheduledlieeventsaccordingtoheavenlymovements.Andthoughpoetssangandscientistsspeculatedourabilitytoperceivethestarsclearlywasalwaysdistortedbyourownatmosphere.Asisotenthecaseourperspectives-bothphysicalandsocietal-werexedandlimited.Thenin1990everythingchangedwiththelaunchotheHubbleSpaceTelescope.BydesignHubbleseesdiferently.ItsorbitaboveEarthsblanketocloudsofersglimpsesoarealitythatisbothlogicalanddeeplypoeticthebirthanddeathogalaxiesstarnurseriesdarkenergyandmassivegamma-rayexplosionsospectacularcolorandterribleerocity.WithoutoverstatingthecaseHubblehasutterlytransormedthewayhumanityunderstandstheuniverseandthemagnitudeotheliquid-rainbowsecretsitstillholds.Hubbleisyoumightsaylikeaspectrummindcapableopinpointocuslimitlessact-gatheringandacompletelyuniqueperspective.Itsdeepestvalueisitsdiference.Nowimagineacompletelyhypotheticalglitchinthestory.Letssaythatbackinthe1980swhenengineersbegandesigningHubbletheyhadthewronginstructions.Ohthesewouldvebeengoodinstructionsocourse.Well-meantexpertly-preachedandthought-out.ButinourstorytheseabulousinstructionsareortheMarsRovernottheHubbleSpaceTelescope.Ourctionalengineerswouldhaveaterallbeensmartolks.Theywouldhavecareddeeplyabouttheircreationssuccess.Inefecttheydalmostbelikeitsparentsshapingandreningwithboundlesslovingdedication.Butnomatterhowhardtheydtryhowmuchtheydlearnorinvestyoujustcantlaunchagoodspacetelescopeusingdirectionsorarovingrobot.WearenotocoursebuildingMartianlandingcratsinourhomes.Andwerenottoolikelytolaunchamulti-reectororbitingtelescoperomthebackyardeither.Buttheamiliesokidsonthespectrumdohaveanequally--inotmore--importantcharge.Weregivenstandardinstructionsromparentingbooksexpertsdirectionsunder-inormededucatorsandwell-meaningrelatives...andrawmaterialthatdoesntmatchtheplans.Uncertainwhatexactlyisaskewwehavenotimeorlearningcurvesortrainingcourseswereonnow.Forgetboosterrockets.Ourhomesareourlaunchpads.Forgetbilliondollarpayloads.Thislitofbelongstoourpricelesschildren.TheGiftofAnAsperkidsLaunchPadStarryStarrylifeByJENNIfERCOOKOTOOlE AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE27regularThebestplansarealwayssimpleblendingormandunction.Theyrealwayspurposeulemphasizingprocessoverproduct.Andtheyrealwaysrespectulothestrengthschallengesandneedsoeveryoneinvolved.Iamneitherapsychologistnoraninteriordesigner.ButIamanAspiemarriedtoanAspieraisingthreeyoungAsperkids.SoIdliketogityoutheinstructionmanualthatwillftAsperkidsoALLAGES....TheAsperkidsLaunchPadHomesDesignthatEmpowersEverydaySuperheroes.Likealoveletterrommyamilytoyoursthisspectacularlyphotographedbookisacolour-richroom-by-roomtouromyownhomewheretogetherwewilluncoverthehiddenpowerotucked-awayspaceslivingroomtrampolinesvegetablegardensandtablesettings.Itisajourneyinbalancingchoiceandresponsibilitythroughpreparedplacesandlie-changingprocesseswithamuchbiggerpurposeinmind.Yesthisbookisaboutinteriordesign--theinteriordesignoindependenthappychildren.AndthatIdventuretrumpsgranitecountertopsanyday.Fromthelayoutothekitchenpantrytotheextendedbedroomlightswitch--smalladjustmentsadduptoonegrandlyimportantprocessobecomingwhomeveryourchildismeanttobe.HomedesignoranAsperkidhasnothingtodowithabricswatches.Itisinsteadthegitoathoughtuladultwhocreatesaplacewhichwillmakepossibletheprocessobecominganextraordinaryperson.Itslovely.Itsdoable.Anditdoesntrequireawholebunchogadgetsorgizmos.ForanAsperkidtotapintowhateverindividualuniquegitstheyweremeanttobringintothisworldtheyhavegottocomehometoaplacewheretheycanlearntotrusttheirownpowers.Hooksandtraysdustbroomsanddailyactivitycharts.Thesearethetoolsoeverydaysuperheroes...bravehonestloyalchildren...whoselastingnotionsoindependencesaetysel-worthrespectandjoywillstanduponthehomebaseswedesign.Likethoseastronomersolongagowelllookurther.Wewillextendthesimplestoskillstothedeepestlevelsowonderrevealinghundredsospecifcopportunitiesorjoyanddiscoveryineverynookandcranny.Homesimplyputiswhereourchildrensstoriesbegin.Asperkidsliveinaworldwhichconstantlyremindsthemincondescendingsmilesandwhisperedinsultsoallthethingsthatwontcomeeasily.Andyettheycannotescape.Dayaterdayyearateryeartheymustventureoutintoaloudscratchychaoticandotenunkindrealitywheretheyreexpectedtopleaseadultsdevelopasenseosel-worthwinriendshipsmanageacareerandmaybeevenfndlove.Theyarewithoutadoubtsuperheroes.Nocapes.Justcourage.Andus.Thoughwemightwishtowecantgiveourchildrenlivesabsentodangerorheartache.Butwhatwecangiveisagrandandbeautiultelelscopeaperspectiveasuniqueastheirownthatpastthecloudsthereislimitlessmajestyandinfnitepossibility.ArchimedessaidGivemeaplacetostandandIshallmovetheEarth.AndsoweshallAsperkids.Wewillgiveyouhome.Andwewillwatchyoumovethestars. 28AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEFakingItisasurvivalstrategyorthosewithanASDthatiseectiveandconstructivebutthereareconcernsthatakingituntilyoumakeitcanbeemotionallyandintellectuallyexhaustingandinthelongtermcanhaveanegativeeectonsel-identityandsel-esteem.Thestrategycanstartinearlychildhoodbycareulobservationootherchildrentotryanddecipherhowtheyseemtounderstandeachothersowellandplaytogethersoenjoyablyandharmoniously.Thiscaninvolvetryingtoidentiybycareulobservationthepatternsandsequencesinsocialbehaviourandtheunwrittensocialrulesandconventions.ThussomechildrenwhohaveASDbecomenaturalchildpsychologistsrequentlyobservingandintellectuallyanalysinginterpretingandtryingtopredictthebehaviourotheirpeersamilymembersandadults.Thiscanincludegreatattentiontodetailromacialexpressionstoaccentsandthecreationoamentallibraryovideorecordingsointeractionsoruturereerence.ItisinterestingthatorsomeadultswithanASDthishasbeentheoundationoasuccessulcareerasapsychologist.Thenextstageistoimitateapersonwhohasbeenobservedtobesuccessulinaspecifcsocialsituation.SomepeoplewithanASDbecometalentedintheartomimicrywhichcanbeintoxicatinglysuccessulandaneectivewayogainingsocialinclusionandacceptance.ByPROfESSORTONyATTWOOdFAKINGITfromtheupcomingnewbookTRyTHISBEENTHERE.DoneThat. AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE29WeusethephraseWheninRomedoasRomansdoandthisisapplicabletothosewithanASDwhofeeltheyareinaforeignoraliencultureandhavetofakeneurotypicaltosucceedsocially.Thiscanincludemimickingsomeonesvoiceandbodylanguagebutalsoclothingandattitude.TheseskillscouldbereinedindramaclassesduringadolescencetoalevelthatthepersonwithanASDcouldhaveasuccessulcareerasanactor.TheabilitytoobserveandanalysepeopleinrealliesocialsituationscanalsobesupplementedbywatchingtelevisionsoapoperastocreateawardrobeocharactersthatcanbeactivatedindierentcircumstanceswiththeeelinguponwakingowhodoIneedtobetoday.WeusethephraseWheninRomedoasRomansdoandthisisapplicabletothosewithanASDwhoeeltheyareinaoreignoraliencultureandhavetoakeneurotypicaltosucceedsocially.Thestrategyoactingandwearingdierentmasksdoesworkbutthereareconcerns.Theirstisthatitisexhausting.ThestrategycansucceedoracertainperiodotimebutlikeCinderellaattheballatmidnightitissuddenlytimetoleavethesocialgatheringandsubsequentlysuertheemotionalandmentalconsequencesointellectualandemotionalexhaustion.TheFakingItstrategywillrequirethecreationoarangeoexitlineswhenexhaustionoccursandtherecanthenbeasocialmigrainewhichcanonlybealleviatedbyaprolongedperiodosolitudeandtranquillity.Neurotypicalsmaynotunderstandwhythesocialitenowwantstobearecluse.ThequestioncanthenariseastowhoistheauthenticpersonActingneurotypicaliscertainlymoreappealingthanbeingthedeectivepersonthatisrejectedandridiculedbypeersbuttherecanbepoweruleectsontheconceptosel.ThepersonwithanASDcanbelievethattherealmehassuchdespicablecharacteristicsthatnoonemusteverseetherealitybehindthemask.Thiscanmakethepersonwhousesthisstrategyeelverysadandlonelyandonlysociallyacceptablewhentakingonanartiicialpersona.ThiscancontributetoaclinicaldepressionorthediagnosisoMultiplePersonalityDisorder.ShakespeareusedthephraselieisastageandthosewithanASDcanlearnthescriptandtakeontheroletoactneurotypical.Therearetimeswhenthisabilityisneededtosucceedatschoolorworkbutonlytemporarily.Itisimportanttohavethesel-perceptionobeingdierentandnotdeectiveandthattherealpersonmustnotbeoreverhidden.ThusinsomesituationstobeonstageandactbutwhenthecurtainclosesandthepersonwithanASDgoeshomeromschoolorworkitispsychologicallyimportanttobetruetotherealselandbewithpeoplewhoacceptandvaluetherealpersonandwithwhomthatpersoncanbenatural.ExtractfromAttwoodEvansandLeskoEd.2014BeenThere.DoneThat.TryThisAnAspiesGuidetoLifeonEarthJessicaKingsleyPublishersLondonandPhiladelphia.Reproducedwithkindpermissionofthepublisher.AboutthebookTheworldsAspiementorspassontheirinsightsorsuccessullivingTempleGrandinLianeHollidayWilleyAnitaLeskoStephenM.Shoreandmanyothersoferwordsowisdomoncopingwithdailystressorssuchassel-esteememploymentriendshipandlove.BasedontheirpersonalexperiencethisbookischockulloadviceromAspiementorswhohaveallbeenthereanddonethatEachchapterendswithrecommendationsorovercomingtheissueathandromAspergersSyndromeexpertDr.TonyAttwoodandthebookalsoincludesevocativeartworkromAspieartistsshowinghowtheyvisuallyinterpreteachstressor.LaunchingamentorshipmovementwithintheautismcommunitytohelpeachotherindsuccessthisisaninspirationalguidetoliebyAspiesorAspies.DescriptionsourcedfromJKPPublisherswebsitewww.jkp.comBookavailableromJKPPublishersFebruary2014 30AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEAreyougettingenoughFatthatis.Mostlikelyyourenotandthiscouldbetothedetrimentofyourhealth.ThemostpopulardietaryinterventionforAutismSpectrumDisordersusuallystartswiththeremovalofglutenandcaseinwhichgoesalongwaytowardsreducingtheinflammatoryproteinswhichcouldbeaffectingthegutandthebrain.Butthatisreallyjustafirststep.OnceweveremovedtheseirritantsthenextthingweneedtodoisaddinhealingandnourishingfoodsandFatisthetopofmylist.WehavebeentoldforyearsthatFatisourenemy.AboutfortyyearsagotheFoodPyramidspresentedbythegovernmentsaidweshouldalladoptalowfathighcarbohydratediet.WhatshappenedsincewevedonethatObesitydiabetesautoimmunedisordersfoodallergiesADDautismasthmaeczemaAlzheimersandcancerareallincreasingatalarmingrates.Whilethereismoretothisthanjustthefoodwehavetoconcedethatthiswayofeatingisjustnotworking.WhyFATisyourFRIEND AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE31healthwellbeingFathaslongbeendeemedtheculpritorcausinghighcholesterolandcholesterolhasbecomethatbaddiethatyouneedtoavoidatanycost.YouwillhaveseenrecentlymuchpublicityaboutstudiescompletelydebunkingthewholeCholesterolmyth.Weareseeingmanymainstreamdoctorsconcedethatgrainsandsugararewidelyoverlookedintherolestheyplayindegenerativeandheartdisease.AndthatCholesterolandFatsarenotthedemonstheyhavebeenpurportedtobe.AnotherveryinterestingareathatisbeingresearchedrightnowisthatlevelsocholesterolochildrenwithanAutismSpectrumDisorderareotenverylow.Ahealthychildneedstohavehealthycholesterollevelsbecausecholesterolisessentialorproperbraindevelopmentgooddigestiontobuildmuscleandtohelpregulatebloodsugar.SohereIamtodebunkanothermyth.SaturatedFatisnotbadorus.Goodatsarethebasisogoodnutrition.Saturatedatisessential.Weneeditorbraindevelopment-ourbrainismostlymadeuposaturatedatsandiweareeatingalowatdietourbrainisdeprivedotheverybasicsitneedstounction.Weneedsaturatedatorguthealthandgooddigestion.Weneedittohelpboostourimmunesystemowhichover70livesinthegut.Andweneeditorourbones-ithelpsthebodytoabsorbthecalciumweneedorstrongbones.Animalatsaresaturatedats.Sobyeatingmeatandeggsandcookingwithatslikeduckatmyavouritebuttergheecaseinreelardyouaregoingtogetagoodhealthydoseosaturatedats.MyDadusedtotellmeasakidhisamilyatebreadanddrippingordinneragreatsourceosaturatedat.Makesyouthinkaboutwhattheyknewbackthenbeoreweallgottoocleverandstartedusingarticialthingstomakeood-likeood.Fattyshlikesalmonandsardinesarealsorichingoodsaturatedats.IyourenotabletoeatenoughothesethenCodLiverOilisanothersourceotheatswewant.AndmyDadtoldmeheusedtohavetolineupordosesothataswellPlantbasedsaturatedatscomeromCoconutoilbutterPalmoilOliveoilandMacadamiaoilaswellaseatingoodslikeavocadonutsseeds.MyhusbandnearlydancedorjoywhenIstartedcookingroastvegetablesandhomemadechipsinDuckFattheyaresocrispyanddeliciousYoucanmakeabuloushomemadeastoodlikechickennuggetsandchipsthatareullogoodatandnonastiesandalmostabalancedmealwithaewvegesthrownin.WhatIveseenhappenwhenyoustartincreasingthegoodatsinthedietisthatthosewhomayhavebeenoverweightbegintoloseweightandregulatetheirappetite.Andthosewhowereunderweightandmalnourishedbegintoputonweightandstarttolookhealthyagain.Whenyouareincludinggoodatsinyourdietyourdigestivesystemworksmuchbetter.Iyourepronetoconstipationtryincreasingyouratintakeasitwillhelpthingstomovealongastheyshould.Asweknowrommypreviousarticleonthegutbrainconnectionwhenthegutishealthythebrainunctionsbettersoyoucanalsoexpecttoseeimprovementsinocusconcentrationbrainogandmemory.Makesyouwanttoruntothekitchenoragoodry-uprightnowAwordowarningthoughnotallFatiscreatedequal.ThereareplentyobadatsouttherethathavenohealthbenetswhatsoeverandareactuallydetrimentaltoyourhealthsopleasesticktothegoodatsIvementioned.AnythingcontainingTrans-Fatsisoflimitsullstop.TransFatshaveundergoneahydrogenationprocesswhichsimplyputmeanstheylastalongtimeontheshelandcanbereusedoveragainbuttheybecomesoalteredthattheyareunabletobemetabolisedbyourbodiesandactuallycausedamagetoourcells.TransFatshavebeenlinkedtoobesityheartdiseasesomecancersanddiabetes.Youllndtheseinmargarinesvegetableoilsandshorteningsoilsusedbyastoodrestaurantsandmostrestaurantsordeepryingactuallyaswellasinpackagedoodslikebiscuitssnackbarsandpotatochips.Weofferagreatrangeofproductssuitableforpeoplewhosufferfromfoodallergiesorintolerancescoeliacdiseaseeczeamaasthmaorautism.Alloourproductsareglutenwheatdairycaseinsoynuteggfshandshellfshree.GreatSnackLunchboxoptionswww.allergyfriendlyfoods.com.au 32AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEQAfamilyrunninganABAIBIprogramistypicallysurroundedbyateam.WhatdoesthislooklikeWhosinvolvedAAtypicalABAIBIteamorachildwithautisminvolvesanumberokeypeople.AninclusiveteamwouldinvolveaserviceproviderwhichmaybeanindividualoranorganisationapsychologistoneormoreABAtherapistsproessionalsromseveralcomplimentarydisciplinesandthechildsparents.Mostimportantlythechildsparentsheaduptheteamsourcingandemployingtheirchildstherapistsandengagingandliaisingwithrequiredproessionals.Manyparentswillalsochosetoprovidedirecttherapeutictreatmenttotheirchild.Mosthome-basedIBIprogramsaremanagedbyaserviceprovider.Serviceprovidersmustsatisycertaincriteriagood-practiceinearlyinterventionuseoevidence-basedtherapiesademonstratedplanastohowtheirservicewillbedeliveredwhichassuresparentsoproessionalstandards.TheserviceproviderwillhavedemonstratedexperienceandqualifcationsrelevanttoprovidingscientifcallyvalidatedABAIBIprogramsupporttochildrenwithASDandtheiramilies.serviceprovidersmayadditionallyhaveaccesstoandprovideamilieswithinstructorsordiscretetrialtherapistswhoworkdirectlywiththechildintheamilyshomekindergartenorschool.Complimentaryteammembersincludingpsychologistsspeechpathologistsoccupationaltherapistspaediatriciansandkindergartenandschoolteacherswhoalsoplayanimportantroleinthechildsongoingprogram.QHowimportantistheinvolvementofachildsparentintheprovisionofABAIBIAParentalinvolvementisconsistentlyseenasimperativetotreatmentsuccess.Apartrompositivelyaectingthechildparentalinvolvementsupportsthewholeamily.FamiliesdobetterwhenparentscarershavetheopportunitytoworkinpartnershipwithproessionalstolearnmoreabouttheirchildsautismbehaviourmanagementtechniquesandhowtoteachnewskillsBreretonTonge2005.WithABAIBIsomeparentschooseintenseinvolvementbecomingatherapistortheirchild.Thekeyorparentswhochoosethispathistraining.IndicativelyarecentstudybytheChicagoChildrensClinicoundthatprovidingparentswithtraininginestablishedtreatmentsisanecessarycomponentandsometimesasuicientcomponentorchildrenwithautismtogetbetter.ParentsintheChicagostudyreceived25hoursotrainingandinonecaseonly6hourslearningkeyskillstohelpchildrenwithautismmakesignifcantimprovementsinverbalandsocialunctioning.ByPEGGYHAILSTONEItscommonlyacknowledgedthatparentsplayapivotalroleintheirchildrensongoinglearninganddevelopment.HowdoesthisftwithABAIBIorautismandwhatarethebeneftsorchildrenandamiliesFreelancewriterPeggyHailstonegetsthespecifcsonparentalinvolvementromMelbourne-basedpsychologistandseniorEIBIspecialistKimSheppard.ParentInvolvementinABAIBIHowwhywhatfor AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE33QWhatdoesparentinvolvementinanABAIBIprogramtypicallylooklikeARunninganABAIBIprogramorachildwithautismislabourintensive.Itrequiresasignicantamountohourseachweektoorganiseyourchildstherapyscheduleemployandmanagetherapistscoordinatevariousmeetingswithindividualproessionalsandorganiseandattendteammeetings.ForalotoamiliesthisheadhonchoroleexistsinadditiontoparentingtheASDchildparentingsiblingsandworkinginpaidemployment.Someparentsmakethedecisiontobecomeadirectpartothechildstreatmentteambyworkingasatherapistwiththeirownchild.Whileitsnotidealoreveryparentitposesarangeobenetsaswellseeinthenextsection.QWhatarethebeneftsoparentinvolvementintheirchildsABAIBIprogramAThebenetsoparentalinvolvementarenumerouswithbothchildandparentsmakingthelargestgains.Withparentalinvolvementthechildhassubstantiallygreateropportunitiesorlearning.Parentstypicallyspendthegreatestamountotimewiththeirchild.Thusaparentorparentstrainedinautismandbehaviourinterventionareintheadvantageouspositionobeingabletomaximisetheirchildslearningrateandskilldevelopment.Parentalinvolvementalsocontributestogeneralisationothechildsacquiredskills.Generalisationoccurswhenachildtransersskillstaughtunderspecicconditionstoenvironmentsdierenttothosepresentwhentheskillwasrsttaught.Parentsareinaprimepositiontoacilitatethisprocessbecausetheyspendasignicantamountotimewiththeirchildacrossvariousenvironmentse.g.homecommunityschoolandleisureactivities.Anadditionalbeneitothispositionliesinthereverse.Parentsarereadilypresenttoobservebehaviouralexcessesanddeicitsindiverseenvironments.ThisbecomesimportantinaprogramsenseastheparentcanprovidetheServiceProviderwithcriticalinputaboutareasrequiringadditionalattentione.g.desensitisationtosoundsvisitstosupermarketsandhairdressers.QHowwouldparentsoanASDchildeelconfdentintakingallothisonAThekeyistraining.Anumberotrainingopportunitiesareavailabletoparentsorpotentialtherapists.TypicallyatthecommencementothechildsABAIBIprogramthechosenserviceproviderwouldorganiseaoneortwodayIntroductiontoABAtrainingworkshop.ThepurposeistotrainindividualsworkingdirectlywiththechildwithASDaswellasintroducetheindividualisedtreatmentprogramtostaworkingdirectlywiththechild.WithinthecommunityorganisationssuchasABIAAutismBehaviouralInterventionAssociationalsoplayakeyroleinprovidingtraining.AsaVictorianserviceproviderIalwaysencourageparentstoundertaketheABIALevel1ABAtherapisttrainingastheminimumregardlessotheirintentiontobecomeornotbecomeatherapistortheirchild.Thistrainingprovidesoundation-levelABAknowledgewhichcriticallycoversboththeoryandpractice.MostimportantlyparentslearneectiveandefcientwaystointeractwiththeirASDchildthroughtraining.Parentsbecomemoreknowledgeableaboutautismingeneralandsimultaneouslyacquireskillsthatspecicallyaidparentchildcommunicationsandinteractions.ABAIBItrainingalsoprovidesparentswithpracticalstrategiestohelpmanageconcerningbehaviourse.g.tantrumsmeltdownsetc..Thisleadstoanincreasedunderstandingothechildwhichotenleadstoimprovedparentchildrelations.Animprovementinparentchildinteractionhassignicantpositiveeectsorparentsaswellasorthechildssenseoselandwellbeing.Trainingisalsoimportantatanotherlevel.KnowledgeobasicABAtheoryincreasesparentscondenceinrunninganABAIBIprogramcommunicatingwiththerangeorequiredproessionalsandadvocatingonbehalotheirchild.Withundingchangesandgiventhemovementtowardevidence-basedtreatmentmethodsknowledgeoachildsprogressandbeingabletoclearlyarticulateachildsneedsisparamount.Asyoucanseethelow-oneectsoparentalinvolvementinthechildsABAprogramhavethepotentialtobeliechangingorthewholeamily.QHowcanamiliesgetmoreinormationaboutABAIBIAIyouareaVictorianresidentcontactABIAinoabia.net.auor0398300677.ABIArunsLevel1andAdvancedABAtrainingcoursesaswellasarangeotopic-specicworkshopsorparentsandproessionals.ManyinterstateamilieshavetravelledtoMelbournetoundertakeLevel1BecomingaTherapisttraining.AutismamiliesinotherstatesshouldcontacttheirautismpeakbodyorcallABIAorareerraltoaserviceproviderintheirstate.ReferencesBreretonA.V.J.Tonge.B.J.2005.Pre-SchoolerswithAutism.AnEducationandSkillstrainingProgrammeorParents.JessicaKingsleyPublishersLondonUK.FeldmanM.A.WernerS.E.2002.Collateralefectsobehaviouralparenttrainingonamiliesochildrenwithdevelopmentaldisabilitiesandbehaviordisorders.BehavioralInterventions1775-83ParentsPlayKeyRoleinAutismTreatmenthttpwww.disabled-world.comhealthneurologyautismautism-treatment.phpChicagoChildrensClinic1June2010SummersJ.HallE.2008.ImpactoanInstructionalManualontheImplementationoABATeachingProceduresbyParentsoChildrenwithAngelmanSundrome.JournalonDevelopmentalDisabilitiesVol.142.WeareaBrisbanebasedAutismandAspergerresourcecompanywhowillshipanywhereinAustralia.WehavealargerangeofbooksgamesDVDspuppetssensorytoysandmorespecicallyforthosewithAutismandAspergerSyndrome.Visitwww.resourcesathand.com.autodayandquoteAANMtoreceive10offyouronlineorder.Expires15thNov2013 34AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEHowmanyoushaveheardthosewordsThinkbacktothattimeandthethoughtsandemotionsthatlashedthroughyourheadandheart.RelieIamnotaparanoidparentaterall.AnxietywhatnowHowdoIdealwiththisAngerWhymeWhymychildItsnotairSadnesswhatarewegoingtomissoutonHowdoIcopewiththechallengesThentheinterventionproductionlinekicksin.WhatservicesarerightormychildWhatismychildsparticularlearningandbehaviourprofleWhataremychildsuniquemixochallengesandstrengthsHowcantheybeaccommodatedappropriatelyHowwilltheycopewithschoolHowdoIexplainandadvocateormychildwithamilyriendsteachersalliedhealthworkersandhealthproessionalsInthisprocessyoubecomeanexpertanadvocatearesilientandstrongperson.Yourlearningcurveisalmostexponentialyoucanunctiononverylittlesleepandseemtofndthatextrabitoenergyyouneed.Howeverinallothatthereisyou.Someonewhoisdesperatelytryingtoprocessandcopewiththisbrandnewworldyouhavebeenthrowninto.Someonewhodoesnthavetimetobeabletositandthinkabouthowtomapthisnewlieout.Someonewhoinsidemightbesadangryrustratedandohsoverytired.SomeonewhomaybedesperatelywantingariendtosayIknowhowyoueelIeelyourpaintoo.WearesickohearingtheplatitudesyouarestrongyouhavebeengiventhischallengeorareasonItwillbefnejustkeepgoing.Youeellikeyouareonaroller-coasteroemotionsanddontknowhowtohandleit.Thisiscalledgrie.ByAllISONHAyNESChildASDhasWeThinkyourGriefandtheASDdiagnosis AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE35WhatisgriefGrieisusuallyassociatedwithdeathhoweverwegrieveeverytimeexpectationsallshortorealityoreverytimewelosesomethingoimportanceormeaning.Thesizeothegapbetweenexpectationandrealityortheimportanceothelostitemtoyoudeterminesthedepthandintensityogrie.Whenweloseouravouriteearringsthesadnessandangerwemayeelisamildormogrie.Itcansometimesbediculttounderstandwhyyouwouldbeeelinggrieoveryourchild.Ateralltheyarestillalivetheyareusuallyhealthyandquitepossiblyverysmart.Howeverthegrieusuallyisattachedtothelossonormal.NoneousliketoconsiderthatourchildwithASDisnotnormalbutthereisnodenyingthatinourculturelivingwithASDcomeswithotensignicantchallengesandortheparentshardworkandheartache.Grieisnotasimplestraightorwardprocess.Everyoneeelsandprocesseslossdiferentlyanditisimportanttorememberthatthereisnorightorwrongwaytogrieve.Similarlythereisnosettimespaninwhichtogrieve.Itisverycommonorgrietolastormanyyearsalthoughthenatureotheeelingsandthoughtschangeoverthistime.SowhatisgrieHowdoesiteelIn1970ElisabethKubler-RosspublishedhernowamousworkOnDeathandDyinginwhichshedescribedthevestagesoremotionsogrie.Shepostulatedthatpeoplemovethroughthesestagesandoncedonethegrievingprocessisover.Whilethestagesogriearestillrecognisedasrelevanthealthproessionalsnowrecognisethatmostpeopledontmovethrougheachstageinaniceneatway.Ratherwecaneeleachemotionatdiferenttimesandintensitiesandotenmovebackwardandorwardthroughtheseemotions.WhatarethestagesofgriefTherstoneisotenshock.Feelingsoshockcanincludeeelingnumbeelingsodisbelieeelingwithdrawnordetachedandmaymakeitdiculttoperormeverydaytasksormakedecisions.Whentheshockwearsoweotenmoveintodenialinwhichwetrytopushawaytherealityothesituationorloss.Elementsodenialcanbepresentormanyyearsassomeouscanquestiontheaccuracyothediagnosisorcompletelyrejectit.Thismaybemorecommoninthepartnerthatspendslesstimewithyourchild.SometimesocoursedenialisnotanoptionastherealityoliewithachildwithASDisacedeveryday.Acommongriecomponentisangerandguilt.Thiscanbeahardthingtodealwithasweareacedwitheelingsthatcansometimeseelwrongorbad.ArentyouabadparentiyouareangryatyourchildorhavingASDTheanswertothisisabsolutelynotItisreallyimportanttorecognisethisasanaturalpartothegrievingprocess.Thereisnosuchthingasabadorwrongemotion.Guiltisotenrelatedtoeelingsosomehowcausingthechallengesinyourchildoreelingguiltythatyouhaveeelingsoangerandresentment.Theseeelingscanotencomeupespeciallyaterparticularlydiculttimessuchasaterameltdownorasuspensionromschool.Asyouequipyourselwithstrategiestodealwiththesetimestheeelingsotenbecomelessintensealthoughitiscommonorthemtostillbepresentinsomeorm.Themostobviousemotionrelatedtogrieisdepressionanddespair.Somepeoplendthispartogriethemostdiculttocopewithastheirmotivationtokeepgoingwitheverydaytasksislowandsomeeelasitheyaregoingmad.Duringthesetimesyoumayalsoexperiencephysicalsymptomssuchassleepdisturbancelossoappetitestomachcomplaintsorheadaches.Finallywecanmoveintoaperiodoacceptance.InthecaseoparentingachildwithASDweotenndourselveseelingstrongandabletohandlethewhirlwindointerventionandadvocacy.Thedaytodaychallengesandroutinedoesnotseemlikesomuchoaninsurmountablemountainandwestarttoseeourchildreninadiferentlight.Researchongrienowshowsthatallotheseeelingsdescribedcanhappenatanytimeandwetendtomoveinandoutoeachstageasweareacedwithnewremindersoourloss.Grieismorelikeawavethanastageandwitheachwaveoeelingweexperienceitbecomesabitlessintense.Themostimportantthingtorememberisthateachpersongrievesdierentlyandthereisnorightorwrongwaytogrieve.Thingsthatmayhelp.Theeelingsogriearerealandcannotbeignored.Indeedtryingtoignoretheseeelingscancreateurtherproblemssuchastraumaorcomplicatedgrie.Howevertherearesomethingsthatpeoplehaveoundcanhelp.Expressingtheeelingsthatwellup.TalkingabouthowweeelandndingagoodlistenercanbeanintegralpartoIwashonestaboutthetimeswhereIthrewplatesoffoodacrosstheroomorshutmysoninaroombecausehewasinfullmeltdownandIdidntknowhowtomakehimstophittingme. 36AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEprocessingandmakingpeacewiththeseeelings.Manypeoplewillnotrealisethatyouarecopingwithgrieandmaynotbeunderstanding.Thereoreitisimportanttondsomeonewhocanlistentoyouinanon-judgementalmannerandbeabletobetherewhenyouneedthem.Thismightbeaamilymembergoodriendcounsellororpsychologist.Takecareoyourselphysically.Thismayseemobviousbutitisalltooeasytograbthatquicktakeawaystayupabitlatertogetsomequiettimeorusecaeineoralcoholtogetusthroughtheroughpatches.Whilethisseemstoworkintheshort-termiterodesyourcapabilitytocopewiththelong-termdemandsobeingacarerandcanresultinlongtermillnessormentalhealthissues.Itisimportanttonotethatgriealoneisnotconsideredamentalillnessandusuallydoesnotneedtreatmentwithanti-depressants.Expressyoureelingsinacreativeway.Thisisotenverysoothingandcathartictobeabletouseyouremotionstocreatesomethingtangible.Itmayinvolvecreatingascrapbookplantingagardenjoininganorganisationimportanttoyouoryourchildorbecominginvolvedintheinterventionprogramasavolunteer.Dontletotherpeopletellyouhowyoushouldeel.Asmentionedeachpersoneelsgriediferentlyandtherearenoshouldswhenitcomestothisprocess.Particularlyunhelpulcommentsmightincludebutatleastheshealthyyoustillhavehimhesnotdeadisntittimeyougotoveritthiswasgiventoyouorareason.Somepeoplendituseultohaveapre-preparedshortstatementthatcanhelpcounterthesecomments.SomethinglikeIappreciateyoumighteellikethatbutthisismyjourneytotravel.Bepreparedortimesyouknowwillbedifcult.Timessuchaswhenyouknowyourchildwillinditchallengingsuchasbirthdaypartiesexcursionsandoutingstobusysocialplaces.Byrecognisingthatyoumayeelaresurgenceoemotionscanhelpyoudealwithitandlessentheimpacttheseeelingshave.Ipossiblehaveyoursupportpersonwithyouoroncallsoyoucandebriethesetimesater.WhatitheeelingsintensiyInthenormalprocessogrieeelingswillseemveryintenseandevenoverwhelmingoraperiodotime.Howevertheseeelingswhilestillpresentcanadeinintensityandbecomeeasiertohandle.Occasionallyhowevertheeelingsdontadeorevenintensiy.Thisisnormallyanindicationthatthereareotheractorsunderlyingthegrieandyoumayneedsomeproessionalassistancetohelpyouthroughthisperiod.AtrainedcounsellororpsychologistisagoodstartoryourGPorotheralliedhealthproessional.Theycanhelpyouprocessyoureelingsandbuildstrategiestohelpwiththeoverwhelmingintensityothistime.Withproessionalassistanceyoucanlearntodealwiththegrieandmoveintoaperiodoacceptance.AboutAllisonAllisonisapsychologistthatspecialisesinASDandchildren.SheisalsoamotherotwoteenageboysbothwithASDandADHD.HerpassionishelpingparentsandchildrenalikeinndingthebeststrategiestodealwiththechallengesthathavingadiagnosisoASDcanbring.SheworksinprivatepracticeatKCPsychologicalinBrisbaneandisabletoseeclientsundertheHelpingChildrenWithAutismInitiative.KCPsychologicalisagroupoPsychologistsromClinicalEducationalandDevelopmentalandGeneralPsychology.ThePsychologyteamworkromtheofcesatNundahandCabooltureandromarangeomedicalcentresacrossnorthBrisbane.Theyarecommittedtoprovidingqualitymentalhealthcaretothecommunityinaproessionalandcollegialworkenvironment.Visitourwebsitewww.kcpsych.com.auorcall0732566320orenquiries.7GARNETSTCOOROY54720808ISYOURCHILDSSPINEINLINEKIDSSCOLIOSISCHECKINITIALCONSULTATIONDidyouknowscoliosisinkidsdoesnotalwayspresentwithsymptomshoweveritmayberelatedtootherhealthproblemsasyourchildgrowsintoadulthoodincludingspinalmisalignmentheadachesneckconcernshipproblemspelvicimbalancetonameafew.Theseconcernsmayleadtodegenerationarthritisandpain.HaveyourchildsspineprofessionallycheckedDiscoverhowthismethodofhealthcarewillworkwithyourchild.Ourapproachdealswithspinalcorrectionnutritionalsupportandexerciseprograms.Bestofallourmethoddoesnotincludeanydrugsormedicationitsnaturallowforceverysafe.Emailadminlechiro.com.auWebsitewww.lechiro.com.au AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE37Imstandinginthemiddleotheamilyroomhuggingabinderwithaourinchspineandinitarecareullytabbedsectionschroniclingmysonsmedicalanddevelopmentalhistory.Iteelsawkwardanduncomortabletohaveandtobeholdingsuchabinderbecausereadingitwillmakeanystrangereelpityormyamilyandaguiltyreliethattheydonthaveasonwithautism.ThebinderisnecessaryorthebattlesthatIhavetoghtonmysonsbehalanditcontainsimportantinormationthatImustkeepinorderoranyonewhomayhavetotakeoverisomethinghappenstomeormyhusband.IcanttellyouhowmanytimesIvecopiedsynopsizedandsentofitscontentsinordertogettheappropriateapprovalsorassistanceorinterventions.ByjOdIMURPhEyHUGGINGtheHEDGEHOGPositiveCreativeThinkingforRaisingaChildontheAutismSpectrumPhotocreditJonathanonlySooPhotoggraphy.Stockimagehedgehog. 38AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEButthebinderisnttheentirestory.ItsjustcolddetacheddocumentationohisAspergerssyndromeandhowithasclinicallyimpactedhim.Therealityissomuchbetterthanthatstupidbinder.Ihavenomaternalinstincts....orsoIthought.Ineverbabysat.Irarelyplayedwithdolls.Ididntoohandahhovernewbabies.IdidntcryatKodakmoments.SowhenIoundoutthatIwaspregnantmyhappinesswastingedwithanoverwhelminganxietywouldIbeagoodmotherButtheminutenothesecondmysonemergedrommywombIknewKNEWthatIwasputonthisearthtobehismother.Ifgureditoutattwoandtheproessionalscalledmecrazy.Firstunderstandthemindsetduringthe1980sabouthowautismwasportrayedandtalkedabout.EventhoughAspergersSyndromewasclassiedbypediatricianHansAspergerin1944itwasntevenontheU.S.diagnosisradarbackthen.Atleastthatwasmyexperience.Iknewattwothatsomethingwasupwithmysonbutnomedicalproessionalortherapistevermentionedordiscusseditwithusasapossibleexplanationorhisdevelopmentalandsocialissues.Whenheplayedwithcarsheturnedthemoverplacedthemuprealclosetohiseyesandwatchedthewheelsspinandspinandspin.HewasascinatedbylightandwedgorommalltomallduringtheholidaystolookatalltheChristmastreedisplaysandtheyhadtobethemulti-coloredlightsnottheplainwhitetwinkles.HewascaptivatednoobsessedreallywiththeTyrannosaurusRexandcollectedeverytoybookandVHSonhisprehistoricpalinordertolearnandtalkaboutitliterallynon-stop.Hepacedaroundandaroundourcofeetableengrossedinsel-conversation.WiththosekindsobehaviorsandnoticinghewasntollowingthetypicaldevelopmentalmilestonesohispeersIdaskmedicalproessionalsIsheautisticAndtheresponsewasalwaysacategoricalnoollowedbyvaryingresponsesthatIcanboildownoryouIamanover-bearingover-protectiveover-reactivemomwhojustneededtorelaxandnotworrysomuch.Ittookuntilage13oradiagnosisoAspergersSyndromebutwewerealreadydoingwhateverwecouldtoindhimhelpandsupportwhereheneededitoccupationaltherapytutorsrole-playamagniicentschoolorchildrenwithlearningdisabilitiesandmyowningenuityandcreativity.Unconditionalloveistheoundation.MyhusbandcomesromabigamilyandIhavearatherlargeextendedamily.Whenmysonwasbornhewastheirstohisgeneration.Whenyoucomerombaby-obsessedamilieslikeourslieisanendlesssupplyohugskissesadorationandattention.Hecouldmakeacrowdedroomgrowquietinaninstantwithhishappychatterorlittlebabysteps.Healwayshadagrandmaorauntorunclewantingtoholdhimandlaterspendtimeplayingandinteractingwithhim.Athomewegavehimourattentionandosteredhiscuriositiesandinterests.Wepracticedpositivereinorcementandpraiseversusnegativecriticismasawaytochangebehaviours.Hewasshoweredwithloveandsupportandyethestruggledwithinsecuritiesandlackocondence.WhatJohnLennonsaidallyouneedisloveWhatIrealizedisthatunconditionalloveandsupportromyouramilyistheoundation.Theygiveyouthestrengthtogooutintheworldandtakerisksbecauseyouknowthatamilyhasyourbackandwillbetherewithyoueverystepothewaynomatterwhat.Butsel-esteemcomesrompersonalachievement...youcanpraiseandpassoutcerticatesandstickersandclapandgiveyourundividedattentionbutyoucannotgivesomeonecondence.Icouldseemysonallingbehinddevelopmentallyandacademicallywithhispeers.EventhoughhecouldntexpressHissocialskillswereandstillarehisbiggestchallenge.Heusedtocallhimselahedgehogsayingthatitsdifcultorhedgehogstogetclosetootherhedgehogsbecauseotheirspines.TheyrearaidogettinghurtandthatsmyproblemeverytimeIreachouttopeopleIamaraidogettingrejected.PhotocreditAmyGoldsmithJonathanMurphyasTouchstoneinShakespearesAsYouLikeIt.Jonathanslifetransformedwhenhebegantoperformonstage. AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE39itIcouldtellthatheeltlikesomeonewhollneverbeasgoodasanyoneelse.Hecalledhimselfahedgehog.Hissocialskillswereandstillarehisbiggestchallenge.Heusedtocallhimselahedgehogsayingthatitsdicultorhedgehogstogetclosetootherhedgehogsbecauseotheirspines.TheyrearaidogettinghurtandthatsmyproblemeverytimeIreachouttopeopleIamaraidogettingrejected.AspergersSyndromeisagoodnewsbadnewssituation.Adiagnosisoahigherunctioningormoautismisagoodnewsbadnewssituation.Thegoodnewsisthathecanwiththerightinterventionslearntounctionindependentlyinsociety.Thebadnewsisthatitisdicultandchallengingtondtherightproessionalsandservicesorhisneedsespeciallynowthatheisanadult.EveniIcanidentiyresourcesthatcanhelpheusuallydoesnthaveaccesstothembecauseaccordingtoourstatesguidelineshedoesntconstituteasubstantialdisability.Itsunderstandablebecausethesystemisburstingattheseamsorsomanywhoneedassistancebuttellthattohimashestrugglestomakehiswayinaworldhejustdoesntquiteunderstand.Ibecamehyper-awareandlistenedoranythinghewouldtalkabouttogivemeaclueorindingsomethinganythinghewasinterestedinwherehisinvolvementcouldresultinpersonalachievement.Noticethecould.NomatterwhatIdindtherewasariskthathedgetrustratedeellikeaailureandwanttogiveuptoosoon.ButIhadtotakethatrisksohehadopportunitiesorsuccess.Iwasamatchmakerforhisinterestsandabilities.WhenheshowedinterestinandatalentoractingIoundopportunitiesorhimtoauditionincommunitytheater.Theexperienceoperormingonstagetransormedhimthehedgehogdisappearedandanewoundcondenceinhisabilitiesandworthspilledoverintohiseverydaylie.Andhehadapathwaytocollegestudiesandacareer.Mycareerisnowafull-circlebacktobeingmom.AewyearsagoIstoppedworkingormyclientssotobecomehismarketingassistantorhisproessionalvoiceactingcareer.AnactorsdayischaoticandunpredictableexperiencesthatareanathematosomeonewithAspergers.Mymoraladministrativeandmarketingsupportallowhimtoocusonhisstrengthsandnotbecomeoverlyanxiousovertasksthatarenot.HisclientworkebbsandfowssotoprovidemoreconsistencyIstartedourownenterpriseGeekClubBooks.Weproduceoriginalchildrensstorybookappsaudiostoriesandliveshowsutilizingmysonsmagnicentcharactervoicesandperormingtalents.WeresharinghisreallifeexperiencesgrowingupwithAspergers.Bestoallthestoriesorourappsarebasedonmysonsreallieandtoldinauniquecharmingandentertainingwaytoshowhowsomeoneonthespectrumovercomesobstaclestriumphsoversocialanxietiesandthrivesquirksandall.Werecreatingthemasappsortheinteractivitiesrecordednarrationbymysonandthereadersabilitytochooseeitheraboyorgirlasthehero.ButGeekClubBooksissomuchmorethanabookappseriesandperormances.OurmissionistobeoserviceandsupporttoparentswhohaveyoungerchildrenwithASDanddowhateverisinourpowertobringthemhopeandinspiration.Mysonsliehasbeenquitetheadventurerombeingtheboythatpacedinthecornerrombeingasocialoutcastbulliedandreclusivetocommandingastagemakingpeoplelaughwithhimandnotathimndingriendswholikehimorhimandearningtherespectoproessionalsinhisindustry.AndmeIllneverstophuggingmyhedgehogwhetherhelikesitornotanddoingwhateveritisIhavetodotohelphimandothersjustlikehimembracewhatmakesthemuniqueandshareitwiththeworld.JodiMurphyoundedGeekClubBookstosharehersonJonathanslieonthespectruminapositiveandentertainingwaythroughbookappsandaudiostories.TheirfrstappTheMightyLeagueisavailableoniTunesAmazonandGooglePlay.Findoutmoreatwww.geekclubbooks.comandseehersonatworkonwww.jonincharacter.comWrittenbyhissistertheMightyLeagueisbasedonJonathansreallieexperiencesgrowingupwithAspergersSyndrome.IllustrationbyP.ScottIllustrationbyP.Scott 40AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEIts1964.OurhouseooBallRoadinAnaheimisrightsmackbetweenDisneylandandKnottsBerryFarmakidsparadise.Aterwevenisheddinnerandwashedthedishesuskidsgoouttoplay.Whenthecracklesbeginweconvergeinthecul-de-sacinreverencetothepyrotechnicdisplay.Thestarburstsmakeourspinesshudderwiththeirbooms.SometimesIridemybikewithmyriendsandjointhethousandsotouristsandresidentsgatheredoutsideDisneylandorthereelightshow.Notarawaystreamsocolouredlightsrefectoothedancingwateracrossthebackdropotheeleven-storyDisneylandHotelthetallestbuildinginOrangeCounty.ForashortperiodotimeKnottsBerryFarmalsohasireworks.Fromourownrontyardwehavebothnorthwestandeasterlyviewsoexplosivegrandeur.DadtaughtustothinkintermsoFirstPrinciples.ZIKARTheMotherLodeByKURTMUZIKAR AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE41WhatcausesthesoundswhatmakesthecolourswhatelicitstheunoldingosmokewhydoesitpuorwhistleWillitburstintocolourorriseandsparkleinashimmeringcascadeWelooktotheeveningskyinbewilderment.Thestarsandmoonmakeuswonderyetthenightlyreworksaretheocusoourimagination.KurtlookatthismyolderbrotherKarlispointingtothepageinhischildrenschemistrybooktitledExplosives.Wecanmakeourownireworkshesays.Soonaterwesetupshopinourcul-de-sacKarlsbookoexperimentsguidesus.Hischemistrysetprovidesapanoplyosensoryintrigues.Thesulphurorthearomasthemagnesiumorthelights.Localizedcompressiongivesuspopsandwhistles.Charcoalsulphurandsaltpetreormthebase.PiccoloPetesareorwimpsIsay.KarlnodsandsaysWeregoingtoputtheBoyScoutsandtheirRedDevilstandoutobusiness.ThenextSaturdaywelighttheignitermadewiththewhitetipsothewoodenmatcheswevecollected.Aswejumptorunwearecaughtintheheadlightsoanapproachingcar.KarlcoveritupIyell.Heplacestheredcanovertheexplosiveandruns.Weknowafamecantexistwithoutoxygen.AsthecarpassesweturninhorrortoseeMikesacelevelwiththethree-poundFolgerscan.Donttouchitweyell.Weknowtothrowrocksatthecan.ButMikeisonlyeight.Hislessononthedynamicsocombustiontakesonlyamillisecond.Heknocksthecanwithhisbarehandsandbrightwhiteengulshisace.Weruntohiminconcernbutthistimehesokay.RelievedKarlandIbustoutlaughing.Theexplosionhasburntallthehairoohisaceandhelooksunnywithouteyebrows.HehasthesamedoleulexpressionasWileE.CoyoteaterhesuersamishapwithAcmeexplosives.BythesecondgrademomhassetupasavingsaccountorourcollegeeducationatBankoAmerica.ImdiligentaboutsavingmoneyyetIcantresistthestoreonCommonwealthAvenueahal-hourbikerideaway-SargentWelchsChemicalswhichboasts...allchemicalsknowntoman.Yearslatermyriendswillpurchasepicricacidorneariouspurposesasmalldropplacedinakeyholeandalighttapwillbreakthelock.Experimentscanbedangerous.Karlillsadry-cleaningbagwithhydrogengasheproducesusingelectrolyticconversion.Hetiesthebagtoatetherballandwatchesitrisetothelengthothesix-ootcord.Asitwaversoverheadhefickslightedmatchesatit.Nextthingweknowhesfatonhisbacklookingupattheskyknockedohiseetbyhisownlittlehydrogenbomb.KarlandIarealwaysupornewadventures.Ononeoccasionweridebikesinthebackalleysbehindthemachineshops.Ibrake.Asilver-braidedmasssticksoutothedumpster.Whentoolingisdoneonapieceometal-ascreworengineblockthelathecutsandmillsthenewshapethethreadorboreorthecylinder.Inincrementalstepsitproducesrazor-sharpribbonsometalasaby-product.WhoaKarlthatsradIpointtothehugeballotwistedmetalribbonbehindtheVWRepairShop.Germantechnology...Karlsaysinawe.Thatsalotomagnesium.CanyouimagineignitingthatChemistryhasalwaysbeenKarlsorte.Ilookathiminadmiration.Oursmallsamplingsophosphoroustostartthecombustionwillbeenhancedbytheseribbons.Wejumpoourbikesandlookaround.Nooneswatching.WhatascoreKarlsays.Wewrapupourtreasureinsomeoilysheets.Athomewestashitinanemptytrashbarrelstompingonittocompressthespringymass.Weknowweneedtooptimisetheuel-to-airratio.Karlwellneedatwenty-ootslow-burninguseIsay.Wellneedsomephosphorousaswell.LetsgotoSargentWelchs.Thisisgoingtobesomethingelse.ItseemsSaturdaywillnevercome.Ignitingthosemetalribbonswillbethehighlightoourweekend.TheboomromtheDisneydisplaytellsusitstime.Theneighbourhoodhascomealive.KarlplacesthephosphorousandthebasematerialatGroundZero-theheavysteelsewercapinthemiddleothecul-de-sac.Nowwecoverthegunpowder-igniterwithmomsturkeyroastingpantheFolgerscaniswaytoosmallorthisload.Oncetheuseislaidouttothesidewalkwedragthe35-gallontrashcanometalribbonsto49 42AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEtheedgeothesewercap.Wetipitslowlythecontentsdislodgeandheapontotheigniter.Westeadyitwithglovedhandsandrmitintoplace.Weknowthatthiswillgiveustheillumination.Whatelsewillhappenisuncertain.Wekeepthetwenty-somekidswhohavegatheredbehindus.Forsaetyssakewegiveourselvesaullminutetorun.Nowitsshowtime.KarllooksoverhisshoulderandyellsStayback.HeresheblowsHelightstheuseandjumpsoutothewaythesparksraceacrosstheasphaltleavingaredtracer.IrealisethisainttheslowburninguseIthoughtitwas.Idartbehindthetelephonepolety-eetaway.Iwatchastheothersback-stepeyeswideinawe.Theglowingusereachesthemass.Ourjawsdropasitignitesrstinredthenyellowandnallyturnsintoathree-ooteerie-bluishmantleoverthesewer-cap.Withinsecondsthemagnesiumandzincignite.CoveryoureyesKarlyellsstillrunningtowardsme.Karlsbodysilhouettedintheilluminationislikeaneclipseothesun.Iturnawayworriedormyretinas.YetIcantresist.PeekingromundermyarmIseethebluish-huecastshadowsontotheroad.Thenoisestartslowwhistlinglikeacyclonetheleavesontheasphaltdanceasthefameseeksmoreoxygen.Criticalityhasbeenreachedoxygenuelandignitioncombinedtosatisythebeast.Anunearthlyquietdescends.Mypulseracesinanticipation.Thentheprocesstransormsintoanexothermalreactionenergybeinggivenoutinsteadotakenin.Wecoverourearstoblockthethunderousroar.Thepungentsulphurdenseintheairmakesithardtobreathe.Thenowglowingthree-meterhemispheremorphsintoaevanescentsmokycolumnwhichmushroomsty-eetindiameterupintotheatmosphere.Thegeniesoutothebottle.Bynowalltheneighbourshavecomeoutotheirhomestowatch.NowtheycheernotortheDisneydisplaybutorthemotherlode.Ahal-inchdeepmeltedimprintintothesteelsewercapistheonlyvestigeothatwondrousmomentomylie.NotlongthereaterTheGoldenBookoChemistrywrittenbyRobertBrentisremovedromlibraryshelvesbannedbytheU.S.government-theverybookweusedasourbible.WhenImaseniorinhighschoolthedrugculturehasexplodedinOrangeCounty.DadworriedthatourexperimentsmaytakeonacriminalelementthrowsoutmySargentWelchcatalog.Ivealwaysregardedtheearoknowledgetobeantitheticaltothetruedenitionoscience.IretrievethecrumpledcatalogandhideitamongstmyChemistryandPhysicsbooks.AboutKurtKurtMuzikargraduatedwithadegreeinnuclearscienceromUniversityoCaliorniaSantaBarbara.HisdadwasanengineerontheLunarExcursionModule.KurtdiscoveredhehadAspergersin2008whenhewas54yearsold.ImagecourtesyotheChemicalHeritageFoundationTheA.C.GilbertCompanyreleaseditsfrstchemistrysetin1923.ItreceivedthehighlyregardedGoodHousekeepingSealoApproval.A.C.Gilbertwentontosellmillionsochemistrysetsmarketingthemmostlytoyoungboyswhohadaninterestinscience.Anotherversionreleasedin1958cameinapinkbox-GilbertsLabTechnicianSetorGirls.Ourjawsdropasitignitesfrstinredthenyellowandfnallyturnsintoathree-ooteerie-bluishmantleoverthesewer-cap.Withinsecondsthemagnesiumandzincignite. AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE43WhatisitaboutAutismmumsEightyearsagoIknewnothingatallabouttheAutismSpectrumwellexceptthatIdidntquiterealisethatIknewnothingatall.IthoughtthatautismmeantthatpeopledidntmakeeyecontactsatrockingincornersdidntsocialiseorplaywithothersrightEightyearslaterandlikemanymumswhohavebeenthroughtheprocessohavingachilddiagnosedwithanAutismSpectrumConditionIhavebuiltupawealthoknowledgeaboutautism.IalsonowhavemyownautismbusinessaspeakersagencycalledSpeakingoDierencemorelaterandasIhaverealisedinestablishinganautismbusinessIamingoodcompanySowhydosomanywomenwithchildrenontheAutismSpectrumturntheirliecircumstancesintobusinessItseemstosituncomortablywithsomeandmorethanoneoushasbeenaccusedotryingtoproftromourchildren.Ifrmlybelievethoughthatweareallcompelledintobusinessbythesameorces-anunbridledpassionorourchildrenaurythattheworldaroundusisntasunderstandingacceptingandaccommodatingasitshouldbeandtherealisationthatweneedtomakethechangewewanttoseebecauseno-oneelseisgoingtodoitorus.Myfrst-borndaughterandIwerementallyinseparablewhenshewasatoddler.Wewereseamlesslyin-tuneandtheactthatIwasluckyenoughtobeabletostayathomewithhermeantthatIkneweverythingaboutherwhatshelikedtoeatwhatshelikedtoplaywithwhatshelikedtoreadwhatshewasthinkingandsaying.Withmysonitwasdierent.FromthestartIhadanuneasybutguiltilyidentifedeelingoourseparateness.Wewerentintune.Icouldntquiteworkoutwhatmadehimtickandtheparentingstylesoingrainedintomypsychejustdidntseemtomovehim.Ashegrewhislanguage-whichhadseemedtobedevelopingnormallycontinuedtosoundairlyunintelligibleeventomyearsandyesIwasstillathomesoeltIshouldbeabletounderstandwhathewastryingtosay.Hisisolationromotherswhocouldnotunderstandwhathewassayingwasthethingthatorgedacloserbondbetweenus.Ibecamehisinterpreterwhereeventherestohisamilycouldnotunderstandhim.Icouldmakethebestguessatwhathewassayingandwascrucialinmaintaininghisconnectionwithothers.IcannolongerrememberhowIstumbledintoamoreroundedpictureoAutism.BythentheferceprotectivenessamothereelsoverhermisunderstoodcubhadkickedinandIwasahurricaneoresearch.IreadeverythingandspoketoeveryoneanditwasByREBECCAHYDER 44AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEallmakinganuneasysense.AtfrstIspoketopeopleinthehopethattheywouldruleoutwhatIwasreadingandtheycertainlytriedtodothatintheirdroves.Despitetheirre-assuranceshowevermygutwasmakingitspresenceeltandIknewinmyheartthattheAutismcapfttedanditfttedprettysnugly.Oncemyhusbandsgutbegantoagreewithminewesoughtproessionaladvice.AtertwoyearsobeingdelayedbyacreakingsystemorgottenaboutandthwartedbyeducationproessionalswithtoolittleknowledgewehadourdiagnosisoAspergerSyndrome.DuringthattimeIbeganabloglovingmartians.comtochanneltheuryIwasbeginningtoeelatourtreatmentandatthelackosupportwewerereceiving.AsIlookbackIcanseethatthemomentumorchangethateventuallyledmeintobusinesswasthaturystage.AtthetimethoughtheblogwasjustacatharsisandIhadnoideawhereitwouldlead.ItallowedmeanoutpouringogrierustrationandquestioninganditwasntalwaysprettyIwashonestaboutthetimeswhereIthrewplatesooodacrosstheroomorshutmysoninaroombecausehewasinullmeltdownandIdidntknowhowtomakehimstophittingme.AsIworkedthroughtheconusionandstartedtomakesenseomyexperiencesitwasthesameblogthatledmetomeetthepeoplewhowouldopenmyeyesturnaroundmyperspectiveonautismandsupportmyamilysogenerouslyandbeyondanythingwewerereceivingelsewhere.Ihaddiscoveredtheinternationalautismcommunitywhicheventuallybecamethesparkneededtocreateabusiness.SomanyothebooksIhadreadwhileIlearnedaboutautismhadbeendryandtheoreticalandlistedeverycomponentoAspergerSyndromeasadysunction.Alongwiththenecessaryrigoursothediagnosisprocesstheybrokemysonintolittlepiecesonegativityandcausedmetogrievethelossothechildhecouldhavebeen.ThegorgeousboyIwasabouttore-fndhadsomehowbeenalittlelostintheprocess.IsawapictureoabookthatgrabbedmyattentionandIorderedit.ThebookwasJennierOToolesAsperkidsAnInsidersGuidetoLovingUnderstandingandteachingChildrenwithAspergerSyndromeJessicaKingsleyPublishers2012.Thatbookquiteliterallychangedmyperspectiveinoneevening.IreaditpagetopageinthebathandyesIwasratherwrinklywhenIemerged.HerewasamotherwithAspergerswhowasmarriedtoahusbandwithAspergerswhohadthreechildrenwithAspergersandwhowaslettingmeintoherchaoticjoyulandtotallyimmersiveAspergianhouseholdandexplainingitalltomeinapositiverealisticandaccessibleway.Iteltcompletelyrelevanttomeandmyamily.ReadingJenniersbookandthenothersbypeopleontheSpectrumthemselvesledtosomuchmorethanIcouldpossiblyimagine.FirstIbegantoproperlyrelatetomysonasapersonwithadierentwayothinking.IlearnedtoseethingsthroughhiseyesandIwasrewardedwithawholenewleveloclosenessandtrust.AspergerssuddenlyseemedamiliarobviousandbeautiulandIellinlovewithit.JennierandIbecameriendsandthenwebegantoworktogetherandthenastoundinglyshesuggestedthatIturnmyworkintoabusinessatwhichpointevenmoreastoundinglyIdid.SpeakingoDierenceisaspecialistagencyorpeoplewhospeakandtrainonautismandrelatedtopicswithmostothespeakersbeingontheAutismSpectrumthemselvesbecausethatiswhereIbelievethekeytounderstandingtrulylies.IwashonestaboutthetimeswhereIthrewplatesoffoodacrosstheroomorshutmysoninaroombecausehewasinfullmeltdownandIdidntknowhowtomakehimstophittingme. AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE45AboutRebeccaRebeccaHyderisaUKbasedqualiedpsychotherapistandmotherotwochildrenatenyearoldneurotypicaldaughterandaneightyearoldsonwithAspergerSyndrome.ShealsohasseveralotheramilymemberswhoareonandaroundtheAutismSpectrum.TondoutmoreaboutRebeccasbusinessthenvisitwww.speakingodiference.comIworkwithadiversityoindividualsromestablishedinternationalauthorsandkeynoterssuchasDrStephenShoreandJennierOTooleandexperiencedtrainerKevinBaskervilletojustotheblocksaspiringyoungspeakerssuchasChloeRothschildintheUSandAlexEvansintheUK.TheaimisthatSpeakingoDierencewillbeavibrantandsupportivecommunityospeakerswhoempowerandencourageeachotherandbydoingsoinspireawholenewgenerationoautismamiliestoseethatsupportunderstandingandacceptanceisoutthereandthatthereisawholeloadopositivityandtalentontheautismspectrum.ReadtheproleoJodiandJonathanMurphyontheSpeakingoDierencesiteandyouwillseenotonlythestoryoaverytalentedyoungmanwithAspergerSyndromewhoovercamemanyobstaclestobecomeaproessionalactorbutalsothatoanotherautismmumwhowasmovedtobeginabusinessGeekClubBooksinordertosupporthersonandotherslikehim.ReadmoreabouttheirwonderuljourneyinthiseditionoAutismAspergersNetworkMagazine.JodisstorylikemineandJenniersshowsjusthowmuchwomencanachievewhenenergisedbythechallengesoraisingachildwithdierentneeds.LookaroundandyouwillbegintoseeendlessexamplesoMumswhohavestartedclothingbusinessesoccupationaltherapybusinesseswrittenbooksorstartedcharities.Iamnowsograteulorthosedifculttimesandtheurytheycreatedbecausetheyhavepropelledmeintosomethingwonderul.Irmlybelievethattheprocessoraisingspecialchildrenenablesustondanduseourownindividualtalentstomakechangesinthisworld.Andthatisagoodthinganecessarythingandmostoallaprivilege.DontchopoffyourlegbecauseyouskinnedyourkneeHaveyouevertakenawalkTheninthecourseothatwalkyousuddenlytripped.ItshappenedtousallrightWellinthatmomentdidyoucurseyourmakerandvowtoneverwalkagainOcoursenot.WhenoutoseveralhundredstepsasingleoneturnsintoastumbleitdoesntruinthewalkdoesitThenwhydosomanyoustakeasingledisappointingmomentanddeclarethatwevehadabaddayAcurioushabitwouldntyousay.WhywouldsomeoneconsiderthemselvesaailureoverasinglemistakeAmistakemindyouthatwhenlearnedromistheseedouturesuccess.Asingleargumentdoesntruinamarriagenordoesasingleweedruinagarden.Arainydayistheopeningactothesunshine.Aailureisapreviewosuccess.Awoundopensthedoortohealingwhichindsitsertilizerinorgiveness.Thereversecanbetruehoweverinthatadayseeminglyilledwithonehardshipateranothercanbeturnedaroundbyasinglekindact.Iimagineyoutoohaveheardthestoriesoamanorwomanwhohadmadethedecisiontoendtheirlieonlytoencounterastrangerwhoseactokindnesshelpedthemrealizethatliestillhadmoretooer.AsachildIwasrelentlesslybulliedandyetmymothershugattheendothedaywasenoughtohelpmekeepgoing.Itsapowerullessoninlietorealizethatittakesonlyasolitarylametopiercethedarkness.Wherethereisasingleactokindnessthereishumanity.Whenthereisoneotherpersonwewillneverbealone.Whenwestumblewealsorise.Whenwehurtwealsoheal.Aswewalkthroughthislieitisimportanttoindthevalueineachstepwetakeespeciallythenextone.Thanksorbeingyou.FormoreinormationonBrianR.Kingvisitwww.brianraymondking.comAboutBrianR.KingLCSWBrianR.KingLCSWADHDASDLieCoachisa1BestSellingAuthor25-yearcancersurvivoradultwithDyslexiaADHDandAspergers.Hesalsotheatherothreesonsontheautismspectrum.Heisknownworldwideorhisbooksandhighlyengagingpresentationsthatteachthepoweroconnectionandcollaboration.Hisstrategiesempowerotherstoovercometheirdiferencessotheycanbuildpowerulandlastingpartnerships.HismottoisWereallinthistogether. 46AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINELikemanymomswhenmysonreceivedhisASDdiagnosisIrejectedtheprojections.HewasdiagnosedwithautismandanintellectualdisabilitybutIsawglimmersobrilliancethatcouldnotbemeasuredortested.Isawitwhenhehadtodoascienceprojectinsecondgradeandweaccidentlylearnedhedmemorizedeveryactoidaboutthedinosaurshedstudieddespitebeinginhisownworldinclass.Isawitwhenheadvocatedorallmedicationsremovedatthetenderageo8.Stillhewasclearlyprooundlychallengedwithprocessingonagloballevelreadingwritingmathematicswereallverydicultorhim.InlookingatallthechallengesheacedIeltreadingwasundamentalorallotherareasostudy.IyoucantREADthemathproblemtheproblemisntmathitsreadingrightSowedugin.Whenhewasquiteyoungaphenomenalyoungteacherquicklyrealizedhedidntunderstandthatthesymbolsonthepageconnectedtoathreedimensionalobject.Idontknowwhatthereadingprogramwasbutshespenthourswithhimshowinghimaplasticapplethenapictureoanapplewiththewordandthenjusttheworduntilhemadetheconnection.Thiswasthefrstingredientrealizingthatthesymbolsonthepagerepresentedaconcreteobject.Soonwerealizedthatanotheractornegativelyimpactinghisreadingwasthathewasinaclassroomwithnearly100studentsineachroom.WhenotherswerelearningkeyoundationalphonicsanddecodingmysonwasstrugglingtosimplyIttakesMOREthanoneINGREDIENTByDENAGASSNERMSWBakingtheLiteracyCake AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE47parentingbeinthatsetting.Theywerereadingsightwordswhilehewashavingseizuresbroughtonbyoverstimulation.Weusedmedicalhomeboundinstructiontotakehimoutothattorturoussettingandlostpreciousground.ItwasatthistimethatwediscoveredIrlenFilterstohelpwithvisualdistortionanditdidmakeiteasierorhimtosithoweverschooltraumahadsetinandwecouldnotreturntothatschool.WeenrolledhimintoasmallHippySchoolortwoyears.Whileitwasasaerplacewithonly12studentsperclassroomtheindividualizedinstructionwehopedtogetwasactuallysimplyadumbingdownothecurriculum.Wesawthathewouldnotgraduatehighschoolwiththisashisoundation.Stillhedidlearnimprovedclassroomskillsorattentioncalmingstrategiesandthegitoallgitstokeyboard.Wehadnoideahowkeytechnologyskillswouldbecome.Forthenext6yearsnoonewouldsincerelyinvestinhiscapacitytolearn.TheHippySchoolwastooshortstafedandhadtoomanystudentstogivetheindividualizationheneeded.Itwasnttheautismthatwassoresourcedemanding.Itwastheconcurrentlearningdisabilities.Itwouldnotbeuntilhighschoolthatwewouldndasystemwillingtoassigntheresourcesneededorhimtoachieve.Ocourseitwasnotwithoutbloodsweatandtearsbutthatlastpublicschoolwasstafedwithreasonablepeoplewhowouldrespondtomeaningulresearchanddocumentation.Duringhislastveyearsoschooltheprogrammingwasintensive.Hehadaudiobooksthatreadtohim.Hehada1-2-1assistantwhotooknotesorhim.HewasimmersedintheWilsonReadingProgramorthreeyearsaspecialreadinginterventionprotocolthatemphasizedthephonemicawarenessandthedecodingskillshedmissedinsecondandthirdgrades.Wilsonhappenedtwiceaweekaterschoolanddailyorveweeksduringtwosummers.Itwashard.Butheletunderstandingthedynamicsobreakingthewordsdownintosoundsandcombinedsounds.Hewouldnotbedependentonalimitedquantityosightwordsthatwouldinevitablyresultinhittingagurativewallinlearning.Thebaselinewasestablished.Howevertheaudiobookswerenoteasytouseoncassettesandwerenotconsistentlyprovidedsohisprogresswasstiltedabitatthispoint.DespitetheseissueshisphenomenalauditorymemoryandtheintensityotheinstructionpaidofandPatrickgraduatedhighschoolwitha3.1HonorsDiploma.AsamomIwasstillsadthough.Weallhavethosethingswehopeorourkids.Oneominewasthathewouldndthejoyoreadingsomethingbeyondthedutytoperorm.In2012mysonenrolledinauniversitythatprovidesintensiveindividualizedsupportstostudentswithASDs.Hisaccommodationsincludethatallohistextbookswouldbescannedandconvertedtoreadabletextsorhissotwaretoreadtohim.ItscalledKurzweil.Suddenlyhebeganreadingallthetimealldaylong.Yestheyarebelowgradelevelyestheyarechicklitbuthesmemorizingentirebooksandorthefrsttimehesreadingorjoy 48AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEparentingDenaGassnerisaprivatepracticesocialworkerwriterandmotivationalspeakerwhospecializesintransition-ageyouthandadultlatediagnosisautismrelatedissues.Sheisalsoveryskilledinaddressingissuesrelatedtowomen.ShesbeenpublishedinScholarswithAutismAchievingDreamsEd.PernerisarequentcontributortotheAutismSocietyoAmericasAutismAdvocateanddoesalieweeklybroadcastorAutismBrainstormautismbrainstorm.org.Denablogsatdenagassner.com.Along-timeadvisoryboardmemberorASAandGRASPDenaisamuchindemandspeakerandpolicyadvisoryonautismachievement.DenaisthemothertoPatrickwholiveswithautismandisinuniversityandadaughterBrookewhoisagraphicartdesignerorauniversity.Married20yearsDenastrivestosupportothersinherjourneynotoutgrowingautismbutgrowingintoitwiththecomortosupportsembracinghertohigherachievement.Kurzweilsotwarereadshistextsaloudtohimusingahighlightingbarovereachwordasitsread.Itkeepshimocusedonthetextandinsureshedoesntlosehisplace.Italsoprovidestheuniquecombinationomulti-modallearninginthathesSEEINGthewordandHEARINGthewordsimultaneouslynotarromhishomemadeaccommodationousingtheclosedcaptionsonthetelevisionFYIKurzweilalsoallowsthereadertochooseontcolorandsize.Thereadercanchoosewhetherthevoiceislowhighhumandigitizedmaleoremaleandhowastitreads.Onecandowordsearchesandunderlineandtabkeypoints.FabsotwareorsureAlltheingredientshadcombinedandthecakewasbakingThequantityoreadingrequiredorcollegewassomuchmorethananythinghedexperiencedthathewasbeingexposedtoreading1-3hoursanight.ThenhediscoveredaseriesobooksdesignedoryounggirlsthataretheindividualdiariesoeachgirlduringanimportantperiodotimeinAmericanHistory.FictionalmemoirsTheDearAmericaBooksprovidedtherightcombinationodiggingintothesocialthinkingogirlsramedinbyhisspecialinteresthistorywhichishismajorbecamethelastingredient.Suddenlyhebeganreadingallthetimealldaylong.YestheyarebelowgradelevelyestheyarechicklitbuthesmemorizingentirebooksandorthersttimehesreadingorjoyHescollectedallothebooksexceptonethatisntoutyetanddisplaystheminhisroom.TheuniversityproessorshaveevenallowedhimtodosomeassignmentsusingthembecausetheyseethelightinhiseyeswhenhetalksaboutthecharactersandtheactionWhataboutthebroaderimplicationsLastsemesterhegota4.0inhisuniversityworkHisIrlenDiagnosticianwasastonishedwiththefuidityandcohesivenessohisreadingaloudduringhislastassessment.Todayjusttodayprobablysomewhatawkwardlyhesatwithsomepeersthegirlssotballteamatlunch.HewouldneverhavehadtheskillsorcouragetoevenattemptthatbeorethecombinationoachievementsIvedescribedHeslookingoranewseriestoreadmaybetheHardyBoysAlltheingredientscombinedoraliteracycaketorise.Itwasntgraspingatarapidlyclosingdevelopmentalwindowitwasntonespecicreadingprotocolitwasntdemandingindependentreading.Itwasalovelycombinationoingredientsalloeredwhenhisdevelopmentalskillswereready.Nooneinterventionalonewouldhaveresultedintheseaccomplishments.Takeoutanyoneotheseingredientsandtheliteracycakewouldallleaveonewithabadtasteorbeterriblyheavyandburdensome.Buttherightcombinationlayeredinattherighttimesprovideswonderullycondentoutcome.IcantwaittoseetheicingonthiscakeFoodChangesEverythingA6weekonlineAutismDietCourse.YouwilllearnstepbystephowmakingsmallchangeswilladduptoBIGdifferencesinyourchildshealthandhappinessNutritionCoachingforAutismDietswww.nourishmehealth.com.au AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE49featureWhenmyeldestsonChristopherwasborn22yearsagoitsnoexaggerationtosaythatautismhitmeintheacelikeasledgehammer.ThescreamingspittingkickingbitinglittlepersonwhonowsharedmylietheonewhoneversleptandImeanneverormorethan20minutesatatimereusedtoeat90otheoodIoeredhimandspenthistimewatchingthesamethreesecondsovideoootageuntilthetapesliterallyworeawaythankGodorDVDswasIsoonrealisednotinacttheoneIdbeenpreparedorbyalltheparentingmagazinesashefatlyreusedtorespondtoanyotheguaranteedparentingmethodstheydescribed.ByHElENWAllAcE-IlESSHINEThroughtheDarknesswe 50AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEfeatureWhenhisbrotherDominicarrivedthreeyearslaterIbreathedanunderstandablesighoreliewhenIrealisedIdproducednotonlyachildwhosleptbutwhowasbeautiullycalmandutterlycontenttobeheldbyanyone.Evenmoreremarkablyhenevercriedcrooninginsteadasotliltingtunesohauntinglybeautiulthatitstayswithmetothisday.ThoseoyouwhounderstandthetermangelbabiesarenodoubtwayaheadomeatthispointWhatIhadmistakenorcontentmentwasinactindierencetoanythingoutsidehisownall-consumingthoughtsandwithinayearitbecameobviousthatDomwasntprogressingattheusualrate.Bytwohewaseverybitasaggressiveashisbrotheronlyinhiscasetheaggressionwasturnedirmlyinwards.Atermonthsoscreamingsleeplessnessreusaltoeathead-bangingandranklygruesomesel-mutilationhewasormallydiagnosedbyspecialistswhodescribedhimasthemostprooundlyautisticchildweveeverencountered.IwastoldtoexpectnoprogressatallandinairnessIcanseewhybutdespitetheseeminglyoverwhelmingoddsweacedprogresshedid.HowDomandChristopherprogressedisanotherstoryaltogetherbutsucetosaythatloveacceptanceandmystubbornreusaltogiveuponthemwerethemaincontributingactors.AtelevenDomstartedatamainstreamschoolwithaStatementoSpecialEducationalNeedsanddespitemyutterterroratthethoughtoimpendingbullyingandisolationIcheeredhimonromtheside-lineshopingagainsthopethathewouldindagrouporiendswhowouldaccepthimashewas.WhathappenednextwassounexpectedthatIhadntevenconsidereditapossibilityDomoundabestriendEverydaywewouldhearLiamthisandLiamthatandIwatchedwithwonderashissocialconfdencefnallybegantoblossom.WhenwemetLiamitwaseasytoseewhy.LiamhadmanyothesymptomsoautismbutwasneverormallydiagnosedhelookedlikeDomhemovedlikeDomhemadesenseohisworldinthesamewayasDombutwhereDomwasquietandwithdrawnLiamwasloudandoutgoingandseemedutterlysureohimsel.Welovedhimromthefrsttimewemethimandhesoonbecameanalmostpermanentfxtureinourhouse.BynowDominichadayoungerbrotherAidanwhogreatlyadmiredBreakingthenewstoDomwaswithoutexaggerationoneothemosthorrifcmomentsomylie.Hewentintoimmediateshut-downandIgenuinelyearedthatIwouldlosehimaltogether.LiamsstrangesenseohumourandjoinedhiminhisobsessionwithWorldWarTwo.SeveralyearslaterouramilyexpandedagainwhenIsabellearrivedandshewouldsitonLiamslappointathimandsayDominicbeorepointingatDomandsayingDominicagainwithagiggleandweknewjustwhatshemeant.WecalledthemtheYinYangbecausetheywereinsuchperectbalanceandIrejoicedeverydaythatmysonhadoundsuchawonderullyempoweringandranklyunexpectedriendship.Byourteentheywerecloserthaneversharingtheirfrsttentativestepsintotheadultworld.ShavingsocialisingandevendatingbecameregulartopicsodiscussionalongsidetheusualdebatesonvideogamesDoctorWhoStarWarsandall-things-science-related.YoullunderstandthenhowourworldsimplyimplodedwhenaknockcameatthedooronenightandweweretoldthatLiamhadtragicallyandinexplicablytakenhisownlie.BreakingthenewstoDomwaswithoutexaggerationoneothemosthorrifcmomentsomylie.Hewentintoimmediateshut-downandIgenuinelyearedthatIwouldlosehimaltogether.Hisbodyreusedanythingbutclearliquidwhichhewasonlyabletosipanythingelseresultedinimmediateprojectilevomitingandthiscontinuedorweeksonend.AswetriedinvaintogivehimcomortheretreatedurtherandurtherintohimselandIwatchedmybeautiulsonsimplywitherlikeanautumnlea.HebecamegreyandbentandthegriehesueredwassointensesoexcruciatingthatIoundmyselhauntinghisstepsprayingtowhoeverwaslisteningthathewouldsomehowmakeit AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE51featurethroughthisoverwhelmingdarknesswhilstlivinginutterterrorthathetoowouldallintodespairandtakehisownlie.OnceagainsomethingutterlyunexpectedhappenedinsteadRatherthanbeingtheendohimthegrieseemedtostirsomethingdeepandprooundinDomwhichhadpreviouslylaindormant.Hisriendswereturningtohimorcomortandsupportandherespondedwithabraveryandwisdomwellbeyondhisyears.HebeganpostingwonderullyuplitingquotesonFacebookincludingTheworldisroundandtheplacewhichmayseemliketheendmayalsobeonlythebeginningromIvyBakerPriest.Hetoldmeheeltheneededtoleadbyexampletoshowpeoplethatihecouldgetupandcarryonsocouldtheyanddespitehisprivateagonyinpublichedidjustthat.HestudiedandcomparedreligiousbeliesromaroundtheglobeandresearchedtheindestructabilityomattertellingmeYouknownothingeverreallydiesMum.WhichwaswhenIknewitwastimeormetostandupanddothesame.SowithnopreviousexperiencenoundingandnoideahowweweregoingtosurviveIgaveupworkandoundedanindependentcharitycalledAutismAllStars.AllouromychildrenareontheautismspectrumandtheyreallgrowingintoriendlyindependentinspirationalyoungpeopledespiteallthedirewarningsIveheardaboutthemsoIdecidedtopassonwhatIvelearnedandoersomethingpositiveuplitingandinspirationaltogivehopetopeoplewhovebeentoldnohopeexistsandencouragethemtolookorthepositivesinboththemselvesandtheirlovedonesnomatterhowlongittakestofndthem.NeedlesstosaywhenwestartedImetwithconsiderablehostilityrompeoplewhowereconvincedthatIdidntunderstandtheseriousnessoautismoreltthatIwaslaughingatautisticpeoplebecauseImnotaraidtotalkabouttheabsurditiesolieonthespectrumbutthesevoicessoonellaway.AsIcontinuedtogiveoutlovesupportandpositivityalwaysdoingmybesttobetheriendIwishIdhadwhenmyboysweresmallthewordspreadandslowlyhesitantlyonebyonepeopleoallagesandabilitiesbegantojoinin.TodayweholdphenomenaleventsattendedbythemostextraordinarycharactersromTVandflmplayedbypeopleosuchpassionanddedicationthatittakesmybreathaway.Manyooursupportershaveautismmanydontbutallothemshareacommondesiretohelpeveryonenomatterwhotheyareorwhatchallengestheyacetoeelincludedacceptedandvalued.WerunclubssupportgroupsandahugelysuccessulFacebookpagewherewelaughcryandholdeachotherupwhenthingsgettoomuchtobear.Iregularlyreceivee-mailsrombothparentsandteenagerstellingmehowinspiringtheyfndoureventsandhowmyoptimismandmyweirdsenseohumourmakethemeelsomehowlessalone.OurmottoatAllStarsisThroughDarknessWeShineorreasonsyoucannowunderstandandyesIdostillhavemomentswhereIcrumbleapoignantsongontheradiooraflmaboutriendshipthatcatchesmeoguardcanstillreducemetoheavingsobswithoutwarningandseveraltimesduringtalksIvegivenonautismIveoundmyselunexpectedlywellingupasamemoryohappiertimesmakesitseleltbutImalwayscomortedbythegoodthatscomeoutothistragedyandinspiredbeyondimaginingbythebraveryomyincredibleson.Domiseighteennowandhasgrownintoatallhandsomepopularyoungman.HehasabeautiulgirlriendislearningtodriveandhasjustreceivedoerstoreadLawPoliticsativeothetopuniversitiesintheUK.LikeallmychildrenheismyliesworkashiningmasterpiecewhowillallowmetoleavethisworldaararbetterplacethanIoundit-somethingIhopeIcanalsoachieveinsomesmallwaythroughmyworkwithAutismAllStars.YoucanfndoutmoreaboutAutismAllStarsbyvisitingourwebsitewww.autism-all-stars.orgorjoiningusonFacebookTwitterandPinterest.AboutHelenHelenWallace-Ilesisthe47yearoldmotheroffourchildrenontheautismspectrum.Afully-trainedhypnotherapistandpsychotherapistshenowworksfulltimerunninghercharityAutismAllStarsFoundationUKfromherhomeinSurreywiththeinvaluablehelpandsupportofherhusbandandchildren. 52AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEByLINDAWEYMSSTodayIthinkIcanquitecondentlysaythatIgotitright.Thepresentshavebeenopenedandsmileshavebeengiven.Lastyear...welllastyearIdidntdeserveanyMotherotheYearawards.Lastyearwasabitoschomozzle.AterlunchonNickysseventhbirthdayhisatherandInoticedthathewasratherupset.Hetriedtohideitbutitwasshiningthroughonhisaceregardlessohisgallantefort.Wedecidedtoaskhimwhatwaswrong.Nothing.Sweetieobviouslysomethingiswrong.Youcantelluswhatitis.NoIcant...Illgetintotrouble.Havingnorealideaatthisearlystagewhatthematterwasundernormalcircumstanceswewouldntmakeanypromisestonotgomadathimbeoreknowingthedetails.Howeveritwashisbirthdayandaswewerehomeschoolingthisyearhehadntreallybeenoutooursighttogetintomischie.Wedecidedtotakethechance.Nickywepromisethatyouwillnotgetintotrouble.Youcantelluswhatiswrong.HelookedsoscaredandIjustwantedtohughimandtellhimitwouldbealright.NomatterwhatitwasiitcausedthispainullookonmysweetboysaceIwouldmakesureitwouldbealright.BirthdaysObsessionsItisNickyseighthbirthdaytoday.HappyBirthdayNickyThebirthdaycakewasexactlywhatNickywanted AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE53TimidlyheansweredIdidntlikemypresents.Oh.Wellthatsucksorthepoorlittleguy.Henoticedthelookonmyace.SeeItoldyouNowyouareupsetatmeOhsweetieImnotupsetATyouIamupsetFORyou.WhatiswrongwithyourpresentsTheyareallthesamething.AndIdontevenlikeNinjagothatmuch.Ouch.HereIwasthinkingIhaditsorightandinsteadIhaditohsowrong.SeeNickyisahardkidtobuyor.Hedoesntreallyliketoyssomuchashelikesscreens.AndhehasenoughothoseSowhenheseemedtoshowaninterestinNinjagoIwentonashoppingspree.AtlastsomethinghewasinterestedinthatdidntinvolvescreensIthoughtIhadthisparentingabirthdayboythingdownTomycreditIdidbuyonesmallTransormertoyashehadbeenspeakingaboutTransormerstooeverynowandthen.Ilookedovertondhimstilllookingatmewiththatlookonhisacethatonlykidscanmustertoperection.ThatlookthatsaysbloodyhellImgoingtocopitnowHardasItriednottothisbeingabouthimandnotmeandallthatIcried.Sittinginrontomewasalittleboydevastatedathisbirthdaylootyetdeterminedtodotherightthingandbegraciouslypoliteaboutitjustaswehadtaughthimtodointheaceotheunwantedgit.HehadjustturnedsevenandshowedamaturitythatIhavewitnessedmanyadultslacking.IwasSOproudohimAndsodisappointedinmysel.HowwasitthatIscrewedupsobadHewasright.Ocoursehewasright.Justbecausehelikedacertainthingdidntmeanthathewantedhiswholelietobeaboutthatthing.IrealisedthatIhadreadtoomanybooks.Toomanyarticles.Toomanyblogs.IhadboughtthelinethatallkidsonthespectrumhaveobsessionsandithadcostmysondearlyonthisdaybecauseIreadthesignswrong.Mysondoeshaveanobsessionhisobsessionisscreenscomputergames.InmyownneedtobeagoodmotherthatraiseschildrentherightwayIhadgrabbedholdothebeliethataninterestinNinjagomeantanobsessioninNinjago.IwantedhimtolovethetwoLegosetsIboughtwiththesameerocitythathelovedplayinghisiPad.Howeverthatisntmyson.WhetherIhappentolikeitornotthiskidisgoingtodemandparkinghisbuttinrontoascreenasotenashecangetawaywithitandholdlittletonointerestinanythingelse.IhadverylittletroubleacceptingthatIhadnocontrolovertheactthatmychildwasdiferenthehasAspergersandobsessionssowhatInsteadIseemedtobehavingmorethanalittletroubleacceptingthesubjectohisobsessions.Andindoingsohadturnedintomyparentswhowantedalittlegirlthatlovedgolasmuchtheydidandinsteaddetestedthegame.InmanywaysIhavelearnedmylessonthisyearslootincludedaWiigameandacoupleoSkylandergurines.IambackintheMummyaspresentgivergoodbooks.IstillhaventgivenuphopethatonedayhewilllovetoreadasmuchashisatherandIdo.AtleastthekidsathispartygaveNickywhatheliked 54AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEWhenpeoplefirstcometomeforadviceabouthomeschoolingIalwaystellthemtojoinasupportgroup.WhenmysonwaslittleIwasveryhesitanttojoinsupportgroupsasIamquiteanintrovertandgoingalongtomeetotherpeoplethatIdidnotknowwassomewhatdauntingandattimesdepressing.IremembergoingtoonegroupaboutADHDandjustsattherelisteningtoeveryonesrathersadstories.TheydidnotseemtorelatetomeormysituationandIwastooshytoreallyinterceptanyconversation.SoIjustsatlistenedwaitedandthenwhenthetimewasupIjustpickedupmycoatandwalkedoutthatdoornothavingmadeonefriendnotfeelingsupportedorunderstoodandcertainlynotuplifted.ItfeltnothinglikehowIhadenvisionedasupportgroupHoweverinthepast15yearsthingshavechangedrapidlywiththemeteoricriseoftheinternet.Nowyounolongerevenhavetoleaveyourhouseifyouhaveaccesstoacomputersmartphoneorsomeotherformoftechnologythatwillenableyoutoaccesstheweb.Therearesomanyonlinesupportgroupsnowthatitcanfeelalittleoverwhelmingbutdontgiveup.Therearelocalnationalandinternationalthechoiceisyours.Ithinkitisagoodideatochooseafewandjustgetafeelforthemandseewhethertheyresonatewithyou.IfindmostofmysupportgroupsonmediumssuchasFacebookwherethereareplentyofclosedgroupsthatgiveyouprivacytobeabletospeakyourmind.Whenthegroupiscloseditmeansthatonlythemembersinitcanseewhatyouhavewrittenandnobodyelsewillhaveaccesstoitonyournewsfeed.Thisgivesbenefitstothosewhoseekprivacyanddontwishforeverythingtheywritetobeshowntoallontheirfriendslist.Whenagroupisrunproperlypeoplewhoasktojoinwillbescreened.Iftheyarenotafriendorafriendofafriendthenanadminpersonshouldbeclarifyingwiththemwhytheywishtojointhegroup.Thisprotectsothermembersasitcanbeanavenueforopportunistswhojustwanttogetintothegroupandselltheirwaresorpedalabusiness.Itwillneverby100fullproofbutonthewholethesegroupscanbekeptsafe.ifanyroguepersondoesgainaccesstheadmincandeletethemandblockthemsothattheycannotgainaccessagain.Thisreallyisonlyaproblemforsomeofthelargergroups.SunnyHomeschoolSupportHubthatIstartedontheSunshineCoastwasintendedtosupportlocalpeoplewhowerenewtohomeschooling.Ourgroupgivesadvicewithpaperworkpracticalitiesofhomeschoolingandhowyoubecomeregisteredorjoinadistanceeducationprovider.ByhEAThERhAINEShomescoolGroupsSUPPORT AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE55regularThegrouphashowevergrownintofarmorethanthatandwenowhavenearly400memberscoveringasubstantialdistance.Ithasmeantabiggerworkloadandwehaveneededtotakeonmoreadministratorstosharetheload.IthasbeenwonderfulconnectingwithotherhomeschoolersacrossQueenslandAustraliaandsomefromoverseas.Wehavesomuchtolearnfromeachother.Themajorityoftheactivitydoeshowevercomefromlocalswhointeractandarrangemeet-upsexcursionscoursesfieldtripsorwhateverelseourwonderfulonlinecommunitycancomeupwith.Therearealsomanysmallerregionalgroupspoppingupallthetimeanditisagreatplacetoshoutoutandfindifthereareotherhomeschoolersinyourlocalarea.Ithasalsobeenaplacetocrylaughandsharetroublesinanon-judgementalarenaandnobodyhastoleavetheirhousetodosounlesstheydonthavethetechnologytoaccessthiskindofsupport.Ifyoudonthaveitathometherearealwaysinternetcafesandlibrariesthatcanassistyou.Formetheonlinesupportgroupshavebeenalifelinewhereyoucanshareideassuccessstoriesgroupgatheringsresourcesinformationofallkindsandoffloadanyconcernsthatyoumaybeharbouring.Beingonlinedoesnotbringthesocialworriesthatactualfacetofacemeetingscanbringaboutformanyofusandespeciallyforthoseonthespectrum.Mysonwhowasverymuchunschooledandjustdidhisownthingaloneathomeneverwantingtogoandmeetotherhomeschoolers.WhenhedecidedtoaccessBrisbaneSchoolofDistanceEducationwhenhewasdoingYear11and12theonlinecommunitybecamesuchagifttohimaspreviouslyhehadstruggledwithfriendshipsinreallifebecauseofsomeofhisdifferences.Hecouldbehimselfandchatwithotherswithalotlessjudgmentsbeingmadethanwhenhewasatschool.Hecouldaccessforumswherebyadiscussionwouldtakeplaceonsubjectshewasstudyingandstudentscouldsupporteachotherinafarlessthreateningwaythanactualphysicalmeet-ups.ArealjoyforuswaswhenheeventuallywenttoUniversitywithsomeofhisonlinefriendsthathemadeandarestillfriendstodayfouryearsdownthetrack.Thatisarealblessingforaboywhogrewupwithveryfewifanyrealfriends.Manyoftheseonlinegroupsarrangemeetupsinreallifegivingtheopportunityifthisfacetofacecontactisimportanttoyou.Oftenweusethemeetuptimesasaparkplayforourchildrenwhiletheparentscanchatandputtheworldtorightsamongstthemselves.Theirchildrencangooffandhavefunandmakenewconnectionsortheparentsmightlistentoaspeakeronarelevanttopicthatmaybeofinterest.ItissuchanimportantpartofhomeschoolingformeandIhavefoundthebenefitstobeenormous.PreviouslywhenmysonwasyoungandIhadnoaccesstosupportgroupsIfoundthejourneyalotmoreworryingandstressfulwhenallIhadwasmyownheadtotryandsortoutmyworrieswithnobodytogiveadvicesuggestionsorjustahugorpatonthebackwhenIfeltsoalone.Asthesayinggoesaworrysharedisaworryhalvedandithascertainlybeenthecaseforme.AlthoughIlikealotofmyowntimemeetingupwithothersoccasionally 56AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEregulartogiveandreceivesupporthasbecomeanimportantpartofmyhomeschooljourney.SupportgroupsdonotcomewithouttheirdownsidesasIhavelearnedalongtheway.AwholegroupofpeoplecomingfromdifferingwalksoflifewithdifferentlifeexperiencesexpectationsandneedsisalwaysaplacewheresometimesconflictcanoccurespeciallywithinourASDcommunitywheresometimesquirkybehaviourisondisplay.ItrytobeveryacceptingofothersandalthoughIagreethatwedontallhavetosharethesameidealseducationalphilosophiesorparentingstylesIdofeelfortheharmonyofthegroupwehavetoagreetodifferonsomepointsofview.Beingrespectfulofeachotherisimportantwhendifferencesoccurandacceptthatallofuscometowherewearetodaywithourownstoriesandthisisok.Thereisnorightorwrongwaytohomeschoolparentorlivejusttherightwayforyouandyourfamilyandnoneofushavetherighttopassjudgment.Ifeelthatwemorethanothersneedtobeawareofdifferenceandbeinclusiveandaccepting.ManyofthefamiliesthatImeethaveleftschoolafterexperiencingharrowingtimes.Theyhavebeenfriendlessandoftenrejectedasweoncewere.ItisimportanttomethatanygroupthatIfacilitateisinclusiveandshowskindnessandcompassiontoeachother.Weoftenhaveenoughtofightwithwhenourchildrenhaveissuesthatneedinterventionstherapyandalotofourtimeandenergy.Wecertainlydonotneedtofindconflictwithinoursupportgroups.Thatisnosupportatall.IknowitissometimeshardbutitisanidealthatItrytoadheretoasmuchasIcan.Lifeistooshorttoinviteconflictintoourlives.Ithinkwealsoneedtobemindfuloftheinformationthatwearegivenwithinsomeofthesupportgroupswegotoandtakeeverythinginwithanopenmind.Somepeoplewillswearbyaresourcethathasbeenthebestthingfortheirchildorasystemthathasworkedforthem.Itmaynotbethebestforyouandyoudontwanttobetakingonthatadviceandspendinglotsofmoneytosetupyourhomeschoolenvironmentwhenthatisnotactuallythewaythatwillworkforyou.IthinkwecanallstartpanickingwhenlisteningtootherpeoplewhoseemtohavethebestwayofdoingthingsseemingallrosyandbrightintheirworldandattimesitcanactuallymakeusfeelworseratherthanbetterWhenIfeellikethatIwalkawayfromthoseinteractions.Idontneedcompetitionnortostartdoubtingmyself.ThebestsupportgroupformeinthosetimesisthebeachTakewhatyouneedfromagroupbutdisbandwithwhatyoudont.Ihavecertainlylearnedthatalongtheway.Pluswedontneedtobefriendswitheveryone.Thatisnotpossiblebutatleastmakealltheinteractionsyoudohavekindonesanddontexcludepeople.Youneverknowhowmuchofadifferenceyoursupportonedaycanmaketoapersoninneedevenifinyourheartyoureallydontfeelaconnectionwiththatpersonwecanstillallbekind.Someothersupportgroupsofferpracticalhelpsuchaslearningco-opswhereresourcesaresharedaswellasparentalskills.Thesecanbegreatifyourchildwantstolearnaparticularskillandyouarenotabletoteachthemyourselforpayforsomeoneelsetodoso.Poolingresourcesandskillsisawonderfulwaytoconnectwithotherhomeschoolersandlearnalongtheway.Evengivingeachothersometimeawayfromthechildrencanbeofsupporttomanyespeciallyifyouhaveahighneedschildorchildren.Areciprocalchild-mindingcircleifyourchildisopentothatandtheydontmindspendingsometimeawayfromyoucanbegreat.Therearesomanydifferentwaystogiveandreceivesupport.Everyoneneedsahelpinghandatsomepointintheirlifeandwecanalloffereachothersomuchifwejustreachout.HappyhomeschoolingeveryoneHeathersuggestssomegoodhomeschoolingsupportgroupstostartwithareHomeschoolAustraliaatwww.homeschoolaustralia.comUnschoolAustraliaatwww.unschoolaustralia.comSunnyHomeschoolSupportHubatwww.facebook.comgroupsSunnyHomeschoolSupportHub AUTISIMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE57ThinkingVioletsisdevelopinganambitiousnewseriesforChannel4Television.Childrenandadultswithhigh-functioningautismAspergersyndromewillbeinvitedintocompaniestocontributefreshideastohowthesebusinessesdesignbuildandselltheirproducts.TheideawasinspiredbyTempleGrandinwhoseabilitytothinkinpicturesledtotheredesignofslaughterhousesintheUKsparinglivestockunnecessarydistressandsavingtheindustrymillionsofdollars.IfyouhaveagiftedchildwithhighfunctioningautismAspergersyndromeandwouldliketogetintouchThinkingVioletswouldliketohearfromanyone-adultorteenager-towhomthisopportunitymaybeofinterest.Pleasecontactclairethinkingviolets.comwww.thinkingviolets.comUnitedKingdomsChannel4Televisionseeksout-of-the-boxautisticthinkers 58AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEtechnologyreviewsByBRONWYNSUTTONForchildrenwithautismschoolholidayscanbeatimetoenjoyabreakromthesocialpressureoschool.Howeverormanythelackoaroutinedailyschedulecanmeanthatholidayscanincreaseanxietyandchallengingbehaviours.Calendarsareuseulastheyprovideinormationabouttheactivitiesothedayinavisualormat.Inadditiontheycanhelpchildrenvisualisehowmanydaysremainuntilananticipatedeventarrives.AtthistimeotheyearmanyparentsarerepeatedlyaskedHowmanydaysuntilChristmasAcalendarcanprovidethereassuranceobeingabletophysicallycountdownthedaysuntilthebigevent.Visualcalendarappsarethosewherepicturescanbeaddedintothecalendar.Therearemanytext-basedcalendarappsbutveryewwherepicturesareavailable.Thesearesomeomytipsorchoosingbetweenvisualcalendarapps.EVENTSManyamilieshavelazydaysduringtheholidayswheretherearenoscheduledevents.Iwouldstillrecommendincludingthisinyourcalendar.Forexampleiyouarestayinghomeorthedayperhapsschedulehometimeorplaytimeinyourday.OthersimpleeventsmightincludeshoppingvisitingpeopleorhiringaDVD.TIMEConsiderwhetherornotyouwishtoshowthetimeinyourcalendar.Itcanbedicultespeciallyduringtheholidaystoruneventstotime.Childrenwithautismmayquicklybecomeanxiouswheneventsarerunninglateordontrunontime.InsteadIusuallylisteventsaroundmealtimes.Thismeansthatyoumightlisttheeventswhichoccurbetweenbreakastandlunchlunchanddinnerandaterdinner.VISUALSSomeappscomewithpre-madeiconsorevents.Otherappsallowyoutoaddyourownphotosandrecordyourvoiceontothephotos.REPEATINGEVENTSWhenyoucreateaneventinacalendaryoucanmakeitrepeatoveraperiodotimesuchaseverydayonceaweekoreveryotherFriday.Repeatingeventssavesyouthetimeandefortitwouldtaketocreatemultipleseparateeventsandallowsyoutoeasilychangealleventsintheseriesatonce.Lookorappswhichallowsyoutochooseindividualdaysorrecurrenceorweeklyorortnightlyrecurrence.BronwynistheauthoroTheLearningAppGuidetoAutismandEducationTherstonlineappevaluatororeducationalsupport.BronwynconductsworkshopsonchoosingappsorchildrenwithautismthroughoutAustralia.Forurtherinormationseewww.learningappguide.comBronwynSuttonSpeechLanguagePathologistB.App.Sc.SpeechPath.Grad.Dip.EducationMSpEdMSPADoctoralStudentGrifthUniversityPlanningforholidaysusingappCALENDARAPPS AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE59technologyWeekPlannerorKidsisasimpleweeklycalendarorchildreninearlychildhoodandprimaryschool.Youcandragpictureiconsontothedaytomakealistoactivities.Youcanclickonthecameraiconaddinyourownpictureandthendragitontotheday.Oryoucanclickonthepenciliconandquicklydrawanactivitytoaddtothedaywhichisgreatorquickchangestothedailycalendar.Eachdayhasadierentcolourandyoucanhearthenameothedaywhenyoutaponit.Oneothebesteaturesothisappisthattimeisnotattachedtotheevent.VisualSchedulePlannerprovidesoneplaceorbothachildscalendarandschedulingneeds.Thisappshowschildrentheeventsotheirdayweekormonth.Eacheventcanalsobedisplayedasavisualschedule.Videosoeventsorstepsinaneventcanbeaddedaswell.Eacheventcanbetimedandremindersadded.Theappcomeswithanimagelibraryoryoucanaddyourownimage.Whenyousetupeventstorecuryoucanchooseoneormoredays.Ilikethewaythatthedaycanbeviewedasmorningaternoonorevening.Thisisparticularlyuseulorchildrenwhohaventlearnedtotellthetime.Thisapptakesawhileortheadultstolearntousebutchildrenwillquicklyaccesstheireventsotheday.Foradditionalprofessionalreviewsofappsforchildrenwithautismpleasevisitwww.learningappguide.comKidsCalendarisavisualcalendarorchildrenintheprimaryyears.KidsCalendarhastheappearanceoapaperdiarywithtabsontheside.Childrencanviewtheirdailyorweeklyevents.Childrendraganddropunimageiconsontotheirdailypage.Theycanaddtextandnotestoeachentryandsetatime.ChildrenfndKidsCalendareasytouseandtheycancustomisethelookothediaryandaddunstickers.Mymainquibbleisaroundthetimesettings.Timeisshownonananalogueclockandcannotberemoved.Asthereisnoampmoptiontheorderoentriescanbecomeconused.RECOMMENDEDAPPS 60AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEThetransitiontouniversitywasalongthought-outprocess.IknewIwantedtostudybutIalsohadthethoughtabouthowIwasgoingtoaordtopayorthecourse.WhatIdidknowwasIcouldntworkorasupermarketortherestomylieandmightwanttogootodootherthings.IdonthaveanytradequalicationstobackmeupbutIthoughtuniversitycouldhelpwiththat.IdidntreallywantadebtasIdidnotunderstandhowHECSHELPworked.AtthetimeIwasunsurewhatIwantedtostudy.ATVshowonSBScalledWhoDoYouThinkYouAreleadmetoahistorycourserunbytheUniversityoNewEnglandUNEinArmidale.Aterseveralmonthsotoo-ingandro-ingIdecidedtodiveinasIhadnoideaaboutwhatuniversitycoursesinvolvedandthoughtitwouldteachmehowtoexpandonmyamilytreeresearch.Itwasinterestingtheprocessoapplyingtoenteruniversityasamatureagedstudent.IhadtowriteashortessayaboutwhyIwantedtoenterthespeciiedcourseandhavecoursetranscriptsveriedtosendo.ItdidturnoutthatthetranscriptsromTechnicalandFurtherEducationTAFEdidnothavethecoursemarksonthemoreveniIhadpassedthem.IdorememberhavingashortinterviewbyphoneinthemiddleoashoppingcentretotellmethatIhadbeenacceptedandtollouttheenrolment.OnceIbeganwiththeAdvancedDiplomainLocalFamilyandAppliedHistoryIthoughtIwouldnothaveproblems.ThatwasuntilIoundIdidntknowhowtowriteanessay.WithoutoutsidehelpIumbledalonginseveralsubjectsuntilitwassuggestedIgethelpwritingessays.Inmyessaysonevastparagraphlookedasthoughithadbeencopiedromthebook.InactthatparagraphactuallywascopiedromthebookThesemesteraterIappliedortwocoursesoneahistoryunittheotherwasonhowtowriteessays.ItwasduringthistimeatergoingoverseastoEnglandthatIcamebacktoaverytoughsemester.Iwasover-tiredromworktryingtostudywhenIcouldandotenwasstayinguplonghours.Iwasdrowninginessaysandhadnoclue.DuetotirednessIdidntreadsomeotheessayquestionsproperlywhichcertainlydidnthelpmyunderstanding.IknewoneothecourseswouldhavetosuerasIjustdidnthavethetime.Asitturnedoutitendedupbeingtheessay-writingcoursethatdefatedlikealeadballoon.Ididlearnsomethingatthetime.Ioundyoucouldntcopyapastessayyouhadwrittenandalsoorgettingthebibliography.Igot37orthatessayonlybecauseitwasmyownwork.MybiggestproblemwasthatIreallydidntunderstandhaltheterminologyneededorwritingessays.MylastassignmentIailedwasduetomyootnotesnotbeingthecorrecttypeaceandsizeortheassignment.TocutalongstoryshortIailedBybRAdbEAdElTRANSITIONtoUniversity AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE61regularoneunitbutpassedtheother.Iamnotproudowhathappenedbutithappened.ThereallyoddpartoailingoneunitwasthatmyessaywritingskillsactuallydidimproveandIeltIwastryingmybest.EveryunitIstudiedIimprovedonsomethingandIamnowabletomakesuremyootnotesandbibliographyarenearperect.OnelecturertoldmeIwasexcellentatpostingwithinthestudyportalbutneededtousethoseskillsinmyessays.IwasgettingadviceromriendswhosuggestedIspeaktotheAcademicStudiesOiceorASOandthestudentrelationscounsellor.ThestudentcounsellorwashelpultothepointwhereshetoldmewhatsortomusicIshouldtolistento.IexplainedwhereIhadgonewrongandhowItriedtoimprovemysel.ItoldherIhaveAspergersandsheaskedithataectedmywork.Myresponsewasnoasithelpedtokeepmeocusedonthework.TheASOofcerwasnotmuchmorehelpormewithmyessaywritingassheseemedunsureonhowtoapproachmywritingissuesotherthantellingmeitwasprettygoodbuttocontacttheofcewhenIwasclosetocompletingmynextessay.RecentlywithinthelastyearIwasabletotranserromtheadvanceddiplomaintoanothercourseaBacheloroHistoricalInquiryandPractice.IdidhavearoundtwounitsletandIcouldhavecompletedthemandthenappliedorthediplomawhilegettingtwocertiicatesoutoitandtwograduationsaswell.Mythoughtwasthedegreewasworthmorethanthediploma.ThegoodnewswasIcouldtransermypreviousstudyoverorcreditintothenewcoursewhichmeanseverythingromthepastwasrecognised.IamhappytohavebeentranserredoveralthoughIdonthaveanyplansorwhenInishuniversitystudies.IwillbehappyasIhavelearntsomehistorythatIwouldnothavereadaboutbeorestartingmypathostudy.BeorestudyallIreadwerectionespeciallysciencectionnovels.IhaveoundthatmyworldhasnowopeneduptohistorybooksotherthanwhatIlookedatthroughmyamilyhistoryresearch.IhavewrittenamilyhistoryarticleswithmylatestonebeingpublishedintheNewZealandGenealogistMagazine.IamcertainlyhappywiththisachievementthoughIdontthinkosharingmystoriesasmuchoabigdealasIampleasedothersarereadingmywriting.IhaveblogpostsaswellbutIseemtouseblogstopublishmyamilyhistoryinormationevenimywritingdoessucksometimes.IamgladtohavestartedstudyingthroughUniversityoNewEnglandthroughArmidaleasIhavelearntplentyandwouldntgiveituportheworld.IstillhaventtoldtheuniversitythatIhaveAspergersanddohavelearningdifcultiesaswellasIwanttotryeverythingundermyownsteam. 62AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEBydEbRAhOSSEINISacredGeometryandMadalasStevenCoventryBydEbRAhOSSEINI AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE63Youllbelittlebetterthanasign-writeriyoupursueartasacareersaidStevensartteacherlookingwithdisgustattheabstractpaintingoanakedemaletorsowithamplebreasts.Stevenhaddrawntheheadlightoamotorcycleorthewomensheadhandlebarsorhershouldersandbelowherwaistappearedtherontwheelothebike.TheigurespedgloriouslydownRoute66.YoureadevianthisteachercontinuedtearingupthepaintingtoStevensdismay.ThiswasnottheonlytimeStevenexperiencedhumiliationbyeducatorsandstudents.Shortlyaterthisteen-yearoldStevendroppedoutoschool.Hegaveuphisartormanyyears.SincebirthStevenhaddiculty.Asaetushewastraumatizedbyradiationanddrugs.Atbirthhiseyesightwasdamaged.Helaterdevelopedapartially-detachedretinathebrokensectionsolamentwhicharemeanttoholdhisretinasinplaceoatpasthisvisioncreatingadisorientatingefect.Whenhewaslessthansevenmonthsoldhissix-yearoldsisterAlexandrawhowasondoplayingintheDDT-sprayedeldsdiedoleukemia.SeveralotherchildreninthesmalltownoTirauonthenorthislandoNewZealandalsodiedosimilarmaladies.Stevensamilyrelocatedmanytimesbeoreheturnedve.Hismomanddadwerehard-workingpeoplewholivedarugallie.HismomaormercakedecoratorspentmanyhourssewinglateintothenighttopayorChristmaspresentsorherremainingthreechildren.Stevenlovedneedlepointandbelieveshisdetail-orientedpaintingshavebeeninuencedbyhismomsprecisionwhensewing.IrecalloneyearIwatchedherspendtenhourscuttingoutandhandsewingsmalllacerosesontoalocalgirlsweddingdressbecausemymotherwanteditjustright...notobsessivelybutbecausethatsthewayitshouldbe...thisisanidealIvetriedtomaintainthroughmyartisticjourney.AsachildStevenwashypersensitivetobrightlightsloudnoisesandroughabrics.Hewashauntedbynightmaresandshadowygures.Hehadtroublesleepingstayingawakemostothenight.Misunderstoodheturnedtoanimalsespeciallycats.InsectsascinatedhiminparticulartheprayingmantisandYoureadevianthisteachercontinuedtearingupthepaintingtoStevensdismay.ThiswasnottheonlytimeStevenexperiencedhumiliationbyeducatorsandstudents 64AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEgumemperormothbothowhichstillintriguehimtoday.Hemadehismomlaughindelightbyhiscaptivationwithaprayingmantiseggcasehatchingandallthegorgeoustinycreaturesmakingtheirwayintothenewworld.Stevensmostpronouncedascinationwaswithanancientcivilization.HisstudiesoEgyptstartedatagesixwhenhismomtookhimtoAucklandmuseumandhesawthesarchophagusoanine-yearoldgirl.IthoughtitsobeautiulStevensays.FromthenStevenrequestedEgyptianbooksandgitsorbirthdaysandChristmas.Hespenthoursinthelibraryreadingabouthisavoritetopic.Thelibraryservedtwopurposes.IwasabletoeedmyascinationandIwassaeromthebullieswhoavoidedlibraries.Stevenseducationwastraumatic.Educatorswerenttrainedondierences.Hewasbulliedandtauntedbypeers.Heoundhehadareasobrillianceandotherareasodeicits.WhileIwasquitegitedwithspellingIstruggledwithgrammarandstructure.Histeachersgavehimharshpunishmentsorhismistakes.Ihadtowritesentences100sotimes.IcouldntdoitorexplainwhyIcouldntdoit.Thentheywouldgivemeevenmoresentencestowrite.Hecamehomewithredhandswherehisteachersstruckhimonthepalmswithawoodenrulerasapunishment.Ibegantohateschoolherecounts.Stevenescapedintothegreenhillypasturespopulatedwithsmallstreams.Herehebeganalielongloveonatureanditssmallerinhabitantssuchasreshwatercrayfshtadpolesrogsandsmalllizards.Aterdroppingoutoschoolhepursuedacareerasacheworkingvariousjobsbutnoneorlong.Hisdadwasabakersocookingwasanaturalvocation.InhisteensStevenbecameawarehewasattractedtothesamesex.Thismadehimeelevenmoreoanoutsider.Itriedactingnormalmanyyearsomylateteensinanattempttoftintoaworld.IknewdeepdownImightneverfndaplaceinormanyreasonsoneothembeingmyhomosexuality.Stevenwasdiagnosedwithchronicdepressionpost-traumaticstressdisorderanxietydisorderandsocialphobias.Heexperiencedseveralmajornervousbreakdownsandlosthisjobbecominghomeless.TocomplicatethingshereceivedadiagnosisoHepatitisCwhichcausedhimgreatatigue.Itsnoteasy...tomaintaintheamountoenergyrequiredtoactorpeopleandsoIbecamemoreandmoreoareclusespendingmostomytimealonewithanimalsandocusedonmygreatestpassion-Egypt.Onedayonawhimhetookupapenandbeganaportraitoaman.Atthattimehehadneverheardothewordpointillismbutthatsthestylethatappearedinhisdrawing.Stevenhadarevelation.Histruepathwasart.Thedaybeorehis32ndbirthdayhehadavisionwhichchangedhislie.MypartnerandIdecidedtogoonaroadtriptoUluruorAyersRockasitsinternationallyknown.Onthewaywestoppedatanotheraboriginalsacred AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE65placeWilpenaPound.WearrivedatthesmallcountrytownofHawkerinSouthAustralia.AfterunloadingthevehiclesIsatheavilyinachairandwatchedtheloweringsun.InstantlyIwastransportedandmyviewbecamesepiatonedwithaslightshimmerorrippleintheair.Iwaslookingdownatapairofhandsroughblackclothonthewrists.ThehandsheldanoldillustratedBible.IreadtheBibleinLatinandcircledacharredpostintheground.ThiswasthebeginningofStevensmandalasandothersacredgeometricpaintings.MandalainSanskritmeanswholebeing.Stevencreatedaseriesofsevenlargemandalasinthechakracolorsofredorangeyellowgreenblueindigoandviolet.Whilepaintingthisserieshedevelopedanawarenessoftheenergiesofthemandalas.Throughthearthebegantoworkthroughhisownchildhoodtraumas.Hisheartchakramandalatookoveramonthtocompleteashecriedmanytimesrevisitingthewoundsofhischildhood.Whenworkingonhisthroatchakramandalahecouldntstoptalking.Hispsychicpowersincreasedwhenworkingonthethird-eyechakrapainting.Eachofthemandalapaintingshealedaportionofhislife.Afterhepaintedthesevenmandalashecontinuedtopaintsmallermandalas.Heperformedaself-initiationritualaskingthathispastmistakesbeforgivenandreturnedtotheuniverse.SoonafterhereturnedtoMelbourneforaregularbloodtestforhisHepatitisC.TohisamazementthedoctorsaidWhatHepatitisCYoudonthaveHepatitisC.ButIvehaditforsevenyearsStevenrespondedindisbelief.ThedoctorwasntabletogiveStevenanexplanationabouthowheridhisbodyoftheHepatitisCanditsantibodies.Stevenbelievesitwasthemandalasandhisself-initationritualwhichhealedhisbody.AcoupleofyearslaterStevenhadanothervisionwhencarvingtheheadofthefalcongodHorus.WhilelookingdownatmyhandsIhadarealizationthatIwasactuallysittinginsidemyselfwatchingsomeoneelseshandsatwork.InthatinstantIwastransportedtoasunnystoneworkroomwhereIcouldsitlookoutofthewindowwhilecreatingthemostbeautifulandmeaningfulitems.Thefeelingofhumilityandjoyatthegiftsofthatlifewereincredible.Stevendescribeshispaintingsasnotmannotwomannotgoodnotbadbutwholenessandharmony.Heknowsthepaintingsarehealingandoftenseemtopulsatewithenergy.OftenpeoplearetoobusygivingartoverlyintellectuallabelsandinsightsbutIjustthinkyourownpersonalinteractionwithartisstrictlythatyour 66AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEownpersonaljourneysimilartomyeelingsonspiritualityingeneral.OneothetechniquesStevenhastaughthimselistheuseometallicoilstorelectlight.ThedotsandbuildingupothedotworkconveysanenergythatIandothersindcaptivatingandenchanting.StartingwitholdEastereggwrappersIbegantoseethepotentialoitsuseinmyancientEgyptiansculpturestomorerepresenttheoriginalelementssuchasgoldlapislazuliandothersuchcolors.Stevendevelopedtheprocessoadheringsmallspotsindividuallycutusingaholepunchtocertainpointonhismandalastoaccentthecolorsusedinthepaintingitsel.Whenstruckbysunshinetheyliterallyglow.ThroughhisartandhisspiritualityStevenhasoundsel-conidenceacceptanceandsel-love.In2004StevenwasdiagnosedwithAspergerssyndrome.Thisexplainedmanythingsabouthimsel.ThisiswhyIhavemigrainesatperiodsogreatintimacyandwhywatersometimeseelslikerazorbladesonmyskin.ThisisalsowhyIhavedicultywithconversations.ManytimespeopleworryabouttellingtheirchildtheyhaveAspergers.Steveneelshisdiagnosishasgivenhimadeeperunderstandingohimsel.SincelearningomyAspergersIhavediscoveredmanyothetriggersandreactionsthathavehauntedmyexistence...Thishashelpedmetogetmoreoanunderstandingandawarenessomysel.Weotenaretaughttothinkitspartoourhumanconditionbutotenitspartoagreatercondition.Stevenhaslearnedtogivehimselabreakonbaddaysandtoacceptthingsthathecantchange.Hehaslearnedtofowwiththeprocessandallowmyseltogrowinamorepositiveandcreativedirection.Hehasalsomodiiedhisdiettobegluten-ree.Imsensitivetoenvironmentalissuesandstresslevels.Ivebeguncreatingacollectionogluten-reerecipesandpracticestoreducemystress.AsarashiscareerasanartistStevencontinuestoevolvehisrepertoire.Recentlyhedevelopedatechniqueopouringresinsonhislargerpaintingstoadddepthandrichness.AprocessakintoFabergesuseoGuillocheenameling.IntheutureStevehopestoreturntostonecarvingcarpentryclayandplasterworkandlargerscalepainting.StevensirstsoloexhibitionwaslastAprilaspartoAutismAwarenessMonth.HehopestohaveabiggermoreexpressiveexhibitioninApril2014.Hewouldlovetoorhisworktobeseeningalleries.Stevensartcanbepurchasedonredbubble.Hisartcanbeseenonhisacebookpagemandalaman.StevenCoventryAboutDebraHosseiniDebraHosseiniistheauthoroftwobooksArtismTheArtofAutismShatteringMythsandTheArtofAutismShiftingPerceptionswhichfeatureartstoriesandpoetryofpeopleonthespectrum.TheArtofAutismcollaborativehasover350artistsmusicianspoetsandentertainersallontheautismspectrum.www.the-art-of-autism.com AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINE67reviewsHindsHandsAStoryAboutAutismByUmmJuwayriyahandJuwayriyahAyedRRP12.95printCBTtoHelpYoungPeoplewithAspergersSyndromeAutismSpectrumDisordertoUnderstandandExpressAectionByProfessorTonyAttwoodandDr.MichelleGarnettRRP38.95printFrombestsellingauthorandeducatorUmmJuwayriyah--astorytoldbyabigsisterwholearnscopingskillstoberiendandleadherautisticyoungersister.YouseemysisterHindhasAutism.AndIknowthatsoundslikeareallybigwordbutitsnot.AutismjustmeansthatAllahmadehertolearnandactandthinkdierentlythanotherkidsherage.InthestoryHindsHandsbigsisterJuwayriyahlearnsjusthowspecialheryoungersisterisdespitethechallengingbehavioursthatsheotenhastodealwith.AuthorUmmJuwayriyahcollaborateswithheroldestdaughterJuwayriyahAyedonthisbooktohelpspreadawarenessaboutAutism.bookreviewsChildrenandadolescentswithAutismSpectrumDisordersASDareotennotinstinctiveandintuitiveinexpressingtheirlikingorloveorsomeoneorinunderstandingthatamilymembersriendsandothersneedaection.Expressingaectiontoteachersothercloseproessionalsoramilyriendscanbeevenmorechallenging.ThisbookbytheleadingexpertsinthefeldprovidesacareullyconstructedCBTprogrammeorproessionalstohelpboysandgirlswithanASDtoeelconfdentrecognisingexpressingandenjoyingaection.Theactivitieswillhelptheyoungpersonidentiytheirownandotherscomortandenjoymentrangeorgesturesactionsandwordsoaection.Theywillalsolearnthevarietyoappropriatewaystheycanexpresslikingorlovingsomeonehelpingthemtostrengthenriendshipsandrelationships.ThisbookwillbeaninvaluableresourceorproessionalssupportingachildwithanASD.Toviewourlargerangeobooksgamessensorytoyspuppetsandmuchmorepleasevisitourwebsiteatwww.resourcesathand.com.au 68AUTISMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEreviewstakealookatdrugandalcoholabusegamblingaddictionssuicideabusecasessexworkersthegaylesbiancommunitypsychiatricinstitutionsemploymenttheprisonandjusticesystemmotorcycleclubsagedcare...younameitthestuyouwillmostlikelyhardlyeverhearaboutandquiteotenpeopledontwanttohearit.ButithappenseverydayaroundAustralia.WiththisridePaulandBarbwillalsobemakingthisamajorundraisertoputbackintothewelareoadultsontheautismspectrum.Fundsraisedcanbeputintogivingthoseonthestreetsorexampleastreetswagtogivethemabettercomortinkeepingwarmatnightcreatingemploymentprogramsspecicallyorthoseonthespectrumorganisingpublictransportconcessionssopeoplecangettoworksetuptrainingorthoseworkinginthedrugandalcoholcentresspecicallyortheneedsothoseonthespectrumbetteraccesstopublichousing.Therearemanywayswecanimprovethelivesothoseadultsonthespectrumwhojustneedthatunderstandingandguidancetomakethatstepupwardsintolivingamoreulllingandproductivelie.AttheendothisincrediblejourneyaDVDwillbeavailableplusabookonindividualssharingtheirstorieswithyouonthemanyaspectsobeinganadultwithanautismspectrumcondition.Iyouwishtobepartothisdocumentaryorbookpleaseemaildocoautismallgrownup.comgivinganoutlineoyourjourneywithanautismspectrumcondition.FundraisingisbeingconductedthroughtheAustralianAutismAspergersNetworkIncaregisterednotorprotAustralianWidecharity.DonationcanbemadetoBENDIGOBANKNAMBOURQLDACCOUNTNAMEAustralianAutismAspergersNetworkInc.BSB633000ACC.No150253656byMoneyOrderChequeorCashtoAustralianAutismAspergersNetworkInc.POBox479POMONAQLD4568AustraliaAlldonationsover2.00aretaxdeductible.Pleaseadviseiyourequireareceiptoryourdonation.WhenmakingyourdonationpleaseusethecodeADULTOZandsendusanemailwithyourdetails.Rewardsareonoerorvariousdonationamountsplustherewillbebonusrewardsrandomlygiventhroughouttheproduction.Formoreinormationpleasevisittheirwebsitewww.aanmag.com.auautism-all-grown-upThedifcultiesexperiencedrombeingundiagnosedandonthespectrumdidntjuststoponcetheybecameadultsandoundthatastheoldertheybecamethemoredifcultitwastotintosocietyandtheexpectednorm.EveninthemoderndayoAutismawarenessandearlyinterventionorchildrenthereisstillaverybigholeinthesystemwhenitcomestoadults.Therearemanyouttherewhostillstruggleeverydayhavingnoservicesorsupportorthem.ItiswiththisconclusionthatbothPaulandBarbwillsetoutonamissiontounveilthetruthbehindthemanyadultsonthespectrumandwhatliesahead.TheywillbedocumentingthemammothjourneyaroundAustraliawithstoriespublishedregularlythroughyoutubetheAutismAspergersNetworkMagazineandtheAANMaginteractiveblogwebsitegivingyouthenittygrittyobeinganadultwithautism.ThisexposewillshowthemanyareasthatarenormallysweptunderthecarpetortuckedintosomedarklittlecorneraspeoplecontinuallyputtheirheadinthesandaboutwhatcanpotentiallyhappenoncewehaveAllGrownUpPaulandBarbwilldelveintotheareasothosewholiveonthestreetsthosewhoarestuckonwelareandliveonthepovertylinendoutwhatistheprevalenceothoseonthespectrumlivingincaravanparksLongtermpartnersandPaulBarbwerediagnosedasAdultswithAspergersSyndromebackin20082009.BothhavebeenmotorcycleridersromayoungageandoundthatthiswasamajorpartotheirlieincopingwiththeunknownstrugglesobeingontheAutismSpectrum.PaulKayonhis1200SuzukiBanditandBarbCookonthebackofAdminionBradBeadelsCanAmSypder 70AUSTRALIANAUTISIMASPERGERSNETWORKMAGAZINEparentingBrisbaneparentsimagineawebsitewhereyoucouldtypeinyourlocationandfindeverythingyouneedtoentertainbuyforandhelpyourkidsaged0-16ThingsTodowiThKidsinBrisBaneandonTheCoasTMembershipisreeorallBrisbaneparentstoreceivespecialofersdiscountsandpromotions.kidstodo.com.auSearchoractivitieseventsservicesshoppinginYOURareaNorthSouthEastWestMoretonBayRegionLoganIpswichRedlandBaySunshineCoastGoldCoastRegularcompetitionsGREATprizesFREEdownloadsTopTenlistsTop10rainydayactivitiesTop10under10etcPrintablecalendaroactivitiesoryourareaInormationortwinsandspecialneedskidsItsfinallyhere